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VISA is safer than e-checks because you normally have 30 days after purchase to petition your credit card company that you've been defrauded and that they should cover the costs on their insurance. With e-checks once it leaves your bank account that's it, the money's gone. As you probably know you need a US bank account to use e-checks.
I can't help much with the the rest of your post as it's beyond the limit of internet communication. I sincerely hope you aren't planning to buy drugs online to kill yourself with. There must be something you can do to fix up your life surely? And no I don't know of any 'suicide forums', I hope this is just a joke.
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