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Reboxitine is used in depression, and is apparently good at improving motivation, self-assertiveness, etc. Sodium valproate (sometimes called depakote) is often used as a mood stabiliser.
It is tough to accept that a problem with mental health requires pharmaceutical intervention - I guess because we all feel our mind is something we should be able to rely on. Why we feel like this particularly about mental health (as opposed to, say, having heart disease) is partly cultural due to fear and misunderstanding of mental illness, and partly because it is only very recently (since the introduction of drugs like lithium) that effective pharmaceutical treatment has been available.
When you take into account that a return to mental health can take some time, and the fact that most people don't even finish a week's course of antibiotics, sticking with meds can be difficult. If you become well, its easy to convince yourself you don't need the medication; if you become unwell, its easy to convince yourself the medication isn't working.
There is hope, though. If the reboxitine does what its supposed to, you should be able to engage with life more, and enjoy it. Getting up and out of the house early, and being more physically active, are proven to have a positive effect on mood - but if you are depressed it is very difficult to motivate yourself. See the medication as giving you a bit of a 'kick start'.
As for your psychiatrist - one thing to remember is, given you find yourself having difficulties through no fault of your own, you probably have some unresolved anger and resentment of the situation. You would have to be a saint not to. It is easy to allow yourself to take this out on other people. Its easy to slip into seeing your psychiatrist as 'the enemy', prescribing medication you wish you didn't have to take, and telling you how to live your life. Let's face it, you would never have met the psychiatrist if it wasn't for the problems you are facing, so it is almost inevitable that you will associate the psychiatrist with those problems.
Try to remember he or she has your best interests at heart, and would like nothing better than to see you well and independent, and not needing their help any more. That is what they are aiming for, though it may take a while - you may even need help of some kind (either medication, counselling, or whatever) at various points in your life. If so, don't see that as a failure!
In terms of your psychiatrist's two-week break - it may be exactly the opposite of what you think. He or she may be trying the new drug to see if it improves your rate of recovery, and so has deliberately waited until his/her return to start the drug, so they can be on hand to monitor your progress.
Of course, it might have been a mistake. If so, and if the psychiatrist is otherwise looking after you well - forgive them. It will feel good, and may even help improve your mood. They are human, and none of us is perfect.
If you have deeper concerns about the standard of your care - talk to people who care about you - friends, family, GP, whoever - and ask their opinion about what you should do.
Please do not simply stop accepting help!
Hope you do well.
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