Family

[jcorsig]

So this has been weighing on me the past few days and I want to take a poll and ask a few things to compare my own life.(please bear with me, I'll have a key board tomorrow and the iPad auto correct sometimes randomly)

1. If you are on long term narcotic pain management have you ever had any problems with your family/close friends? Example- stealing or asking for your pain meds?

2. How does your immediate family or thoses closest to you feel when you're in pain or tired? Did you lose anyone when it got bad and you were limited in one way or another..

3. Do people look down on you due to your illness/injury/condition ? Do they "imply" or outright say you're not good enough or less than whole? perhaps that your significant other could do better?

To answer- my mom is atrue addict and I caught her stealing pain meds last thanksgiving so I now. Hide them. She still asks and guilt trips but I have to say no or I suffer. She gets her own 120oxy a month and will blow through and drink of them. She has degenerative disc disease and Wharton's neuroma in her legs/feet.

My husband is supportivebut he had moments where's he's sad or disappointed if I need a day in bed or can't do certain things, he's never mean but it makes me feel bad I can't be super woman.

My In laws openly tell dh he can do better, that he should leave and take ds, they have even offered to pay for the divorce and say I'm an unfit mother. My slut sil even offered to baby sit while he worked so I'd never see my ds..

Does anyone else ever go through any of this?

[Jeremy Fisher]

Morning JC (may I call you JC?), great questions. My answers are below in blue.

So this has been weighing on me the past few days and I want to take a poll and ask a few things to compare my own life.(please bear with me, I'll have a key board tomorrow and the iPad auto correct sometimes randomly)

1. If you are on long term narcotic pain management have you ever had any problems with your family/close friends? Example- stealing or asking for your pain meds?

No. Although the folks I hang out w/are older or pretty straight. Also I transfer my meds to a vitamin bottle and put the label in my purse (for several reasons) but prevents them from being stolen by workers or folks attending one of my parties. Noone in my family really likes or needs pills so that makes not sharing much easier. I have been getting low level meds for about 15 years, maybe longer.


2. How does your immediate family or thoses closest to you feel when you're in pain or tired? Did you lose anyone when it got bad and you were limited in one way or another.

My mother in law (MIL) has the same medical issues I have (neck disc stuff) as well as other spinal issues. I think this makes my dh very understanding. Although I am a stay at home mom w/one 10 year old so I spend a lot of time resting when they are not home. However, they know and I accept that I can not ski, lift, reach, etc... When it is important, like a family wedding which requires driving I just suck it up, take extra meds and go. I rarely mention my pain which helps. If I have to rest, I just say I don't feel well.

3. Do people look down on you due to your illness/injury/condition ? Do they "imply" or outright say you're not good enough or less than whole? perhaps that your significant other could do better?

Never. OMG, I hope noone is saying that to you! Are they? Granted although I have had other pain issues, my most significant one did not start until my dh and I were already married for 7 years about. We are on 24 years. Now, sometimes I do feel bad about my limitations, but not once has that come from any type of outside comments.

To answer- my mom is atrue addict and I caught her stealing pain meds last thanksgiving so I now. Hide them. She still asks and guilt trips but I have to say no or I suffer. She gets her own 120oxy a month and will blow through and drink of them. She has degenerative disc disease and Wharton's neuroma in her legs/feet.

My husband is supportivebut he had moments where's he's sad or disappointed if I need a day in bed or can't do certain things, he's never mean but it makes me feel bad I can't be super woman.

My In laws openly tell dh he can do better, that he should leave and take ds, they have even offered to pay for the divorce and say I'm an unfit mother. My slut sil even offered to baby sit while he worked so I'd never see my ds..

Does anyone else ever go through any of this?

Your husband's family sound HORRIBLE!!!! AVOID!!! AVOID!!! Warning, TOXIC people!!!

Sure your husband is disappointed; he loves you and wants to be with you. That is a good thing. Encourage him to do those activities, w/male friends. I know, seems hard for guys to make friends. Also, tell him how much you would like to go but you know it is not the smart thing for you to do. And then do something else for him, like make a nice dinner. Give him a back rub. Something to show him that you love and appreciate him.

And what a bummer about your mom. Is her pain real, do you think?

Sincerely,

Fire

[Kexessa]

So this has been weighing on me the past few days and I want to take a poll and ask a few things to compare my own life.(please bear with me, I'll have a key board tomorrow and the iPad auto correct sometimes randomly)

1. If you are on long term narcotic pain management have you ever had any problems with your family/close friends? Example- stealing or asking for your pain meds?

2. How does your immediate family or thoses closest to you feel when you're in pain or tired? Did you lose anyone when it got bad and you were limited in one way or another..

3. Do people look down on you due to your illness/injury/condition ? Do they "imply" or outright say you're not good enough or less than whole? perhaps that your significant other could do better?

To answer- my mom is atrue addict and I caught her stealing pain meds last thanksgiving so I now. Hide them. She still asks and guilt trips but I have to say no or I suffer. She gets her own 120oxy a month and will blow through and drink of them. She has degenerative disc disease and Wharton's neuroma in her legs/feet.

My husband is supportivebut he had moments where's he's sad or disappointed if I need a day in bed or can't do certain things, he's never mean but it makes me feel bad I can't be super woman.

My In laws openly tell dh he can do better, that he should leave and take ds, they have even offered to pay for the divorce and say I'm an unfit mother. My slut sil even offered to baby sit while he worked so I'd never see my ds..

Does anyone else ever go through any of this?

Wow, you are really having a hard time. On top of your medical issues, the surrounding emotional issues are just compounding everything.

I'm sorry, and I'm not trying to judge, but your in-laws behavior is appalling.

To answer your questions:

1. No
2. I'm extremely fortunate to have a very strong support system. It really only consists of my husband and adult son and a few close friends, but they are very strong for me.
3. No, never. I'm 'famous' for my ability to bake and cook and that is what I'm known for, not my physical/mental issues. That is what my circle of support focuses on. They will go grocery shopping for me, say "if you cook/bake this, we'll do all the cleaning up" things along those lines. It's a fortunate position because none of them can cook a thing, Husband included. Left on his own he'd survive on hot dogs and frozen hamburgers.

Gosh, you Mom is making it really hard for you. Any possibility you can tell her your doctor stopped prescribing you what she's asking for? Say they changed your medication to something else, maybe something she wouldn't want. Or when she asks, be strong and straight up say, "Mom, if I give you those, I will be in pain, unable to care for myself and my family until my next re-fill, is that what you want? for me to be in pain and agony so you can have my meds?" I don't know what kind of relationship you have with her, but that is what I would do.

Your husband sounds like he's being very supportive. Him being sad or disappointed that you don't feel well that day or successive days is a natural reaction. He certainly isn't going to be happy that you don't feel good. And don't mistake his disappointment that you are sick as disappointment in YOU. He does not want you to be unwell anymore than you do and is not only sad that you can't "do" whatever, but is sad FOR you having to live through this, not AT you for having the condition.

He sounds like he's being strong against his family but it's unfair and unreasonable for them to put this type of pressure on him. It's his life and his family, they have no right to interfere in his personal life. Like I said, the in-laws behavior is beyond appalling, I'll leave it at that.

I'm sorry that I don't really have any advice or words of wisdom for you. Stay strong and just do your best, that is all anyone can (and should) ask of you.

[jcorsig]

@Fireplaces, Jc is fine, when I'm allowed to pm I have no issue give you my name. When I said in a different thread that this past year has damn near killed me I meant it. I have court ordered mediation tonight w my in laws because they filed charges against me for "talking bad about them on Facebook", when I used no names, they made fake profile to stalk me AND it wasn't even about them. But back to topic.

My husband is great and I'm devoted to him, I just feel like a disappointment sometimes when he wants things or I'm having a bad day.

His family, well refer to above, this started in 2009 when i refused my bil some percocedt when he said he hurt his back.My mom is in pain but she also wants the high. She continually has the withdrawal flu and it's to the point my step dad hides her pills in a safe and just counts out her daily dose everyday before he goes to work. She's in trouble w the state, her foot doc and pain management doc for getting 90 vicodan 7.5 from the foot doc after getting her monthly oxy. It's a mess and I fear becoming that..

I'm really happy to hear that you are both free of similar issues

[teresita]

Wow, what a mess. Its almost as you are being trapped by one side of your or the other. It might be out of the question but sounds like you need someone nuetral to talk to for your legal and mental anguish you are being put through.

You say you are devoted to your husband and son and they are the ones that are the most important to you and you to them. What does your husband feel about what they are doing to you? If you are a good mother and I believe you are, why do they need to mediate anything? Sorry if Im being to nosey. I do believe there are people that if your particular pain issues cannot be seen by the naked eye, they have no sympathy. ie "You dont look like youre in pain" When what you are feeling is horrible and would just like someone to be polite and respectful.

As fireplaces stated your in laws are toxic people, terrible. And really sounds like all everyone wants is not your husband and sons well being, but your pain meds.

And dont feel bad about not being able to be super woman. We women seemed to feel we need to do all and even the healthiest of us just cannot do that. I used to be such a clean freak and all natural foods (which meant a lot of cooking) but I HAD to lower my standards. It got to the point where I would just break down in tears because I couldnt do everything. This was before I got together with my husband and was raising my daughter. I was out to prove that I could be a perfect single parent, but who was I proving it to...no one, because there is no such thing. And it was my mother years ago that told me to take it easy, and dont make housework your hobby because time goes by too quickly.

You may have some legal issues with them faking a profile on you, and that kind of stuff needs to be nipped in the bud. Let us all know how you are doing. I wish you all the best and hope this mess is settled to your own familys favor.

Oh one more thing, I know it will be hard but dont give away anymore pain meds to your mother or anyone else no matter what threats they give. That could come back to slap you in the face. Your mother has problems and you cant fix them, but it being your mother I know its hard. Your step Dad seems to know whats going on and I hope your relationship with him is solid. He seems to be trying to take care of your mothers problems, so dont give her anymore than she has prescribed even if you have to tell a little fib (Im out, they changed my rx, etc)

Good luck and take good care!!!!

[jcorsig]

LOL, well i did just read Toxic in laws..so yeah it hit very close to home for me. I didn't mean to come here and vent, I just needed to talk and I didn't mean to do this online when no one knows me, but thank you all so much for caring.

My husband is disgusted and sick to death of his family. We got called two hours before mediation tonight saying it was moved. They apparently don't want mediation and are going to go before the judge and demand a trial. The judge will the then make a choice to either dimiss it since he originally sent it to mediation, to send it back to mediation or give them a trial. It starts with my MIL who is a very mentally ill control freak. She tried to kill herself a few months ago when my DH wouldn't talk to her because I was having emergency surgery for a large kidney stone and he was busy. She took 15 tylenol pm to "kill herself" because she was so sad. It's a joke. It was sent to a mediator basically because the judge didn't want to tie up the court with such petty crap. If you had ever read "but you don't look sick" google it, because that is the mentality of those people.

I am a damn good mother, my son is my heart and he is #1. I love him very very much.
I love my husband very much because he is a good man and we have a good marriage. I feel badly for him that he gets sh*t on so much by his supposed family. I refuse to forgive them for quite a few reasons. My MIL used to let herself in out old house to "clean it" because it would bother her so much that a house she didn't live in was organized in a way she didn't like..when we first got our old house she let herself in one day when we were both working to paint my hard wood floors to "surprise" us. needless to say I was less than pleased. Sorry to ramble but it's soo good to just get it out.. I could tell you stories that would make you cringe. We had to change our phone numbers in August because she went off the deep end and kept calling and texting(like 50 in a two hour period)

ttp://www.dailyrecord.com/article/A8/20110108/NEWS01/101080312/Blaze-destroys-Millville-duplex when this was going on my BIL wanted money and to know about insurance, not one member of my husband's family even gave us a dollar to feed the baby or get diapers. Not even a blanket or a pillow-our one nephew is 9 months older they didn't say let me get you some of his old clothing, or toys for your baby. Nothing. It was very hurtful. My MIL was actually upset we wouldn't go sleep on an air mattress in her camper(which she was living in after committing mortgage fraud by lying to BoA and saying they were broke, hiding assets, not registering their camper and using a check cashing place instead of their bank accounts in order selling their house in a short sale because they had 3 mortgages in 10 years of ownership-a story for another day) and instead going to my dad's and having a private room. She actually yelled at my husband that he had to stay close because SHE was so rattled by this and needed her son close. I could go on all night..when i was two days out of the hospital from a blood transfusion and having labor stopped she came over to see my dh and told him, "I ran into your ex girlfriend that was my favorite, have you met her jcorsig, I wanted DH to marry her, I just love her"-I was 7 months pregnant. She drove us into marriage counseling for a bit.

I don't give anyone any meds because I literally get just enough, and no one would suffer for me so I'm done suffering for them.

We are looking at filing stalking charges, but honestly I'd just like them GONE. They are just nasty pathetic people. I know I keep sing this but I could go on all night with the list of the few years. They called DYFS on us when they were barred from seeing our son and were told by the courts that they have no rights. This stress really exacerbates my pain and issues as well. They cost my husband a job last year by showing up all the time, one time my FIL showed up calling me a whore saying he'd "strangle that c*nt you married, she better watch her bank" and threatening to beat him up. His mom just calling all the time or showing up. I used to shake when they lived 2 miles away in fear when I thought i heard a truck that sounded like my father in law's. They do not have our new address.

I feel bad for eating up board space with this stuff, and i'm sorry it kinda turned into this, but I've been feeling very alone in all this. My husband is a good, loving man. My dad and I close, as well as my step mom and step dad. I have brothers and step sisters and a few close friends. I have my son who's just a gift from God. And now hopefully i have friends and a support group here at Pharmacy Reviewer Forum. thank you all. It feels so good to just get it out and things are getting better. We have a great new home and everything else is falling in place.

[Kexessa]

I feel bad for eating up board space with this stuff

Don't. I'm still new here, but I've seen plenty of useless posts, and your's don't belong in among them.

We all do what we can to feel better. If it's walking, taking more medications, sleeping more, drinking passion fruit juice, swimming, yelling at sports on tv, whatever. If it makes you feel even the tiniest bit better to post here and let it out, I say post away.

[Horseman]

JC.....that is just horrible......your story sounds exactly like my girlfriends 30 year marriage to a tyrant azzhole with a nightmare mother in law they called the "Cobra".............I could not imagine dealing with that and being in the kinda pain I am in. I am so intolerant anymore to anything that bothers me or just does not let me be.
I listen to my beautiful womans stories of how she was physically and mentally abused by her husband and his whole family for 30 years since she was 17 and she got pregnant for the first time..........the only difference is your husband is supportive her husband beat the sheit out of her...in front of her kids even......
He is not around anymore because all their kids are in college and I am around now.we had a few meetings that have not gone his way at all......I might be in pain but I was an Airborne Ranger for 9 of the 10 years I served in the United States Army and F2F aint no one going to best me.
JC I hope this gives you strength.........My beautiful girl is so shell shocked from her abusive life before me that on days when I am so wracked with pain and miserable as hell and if I happen to yell at her or be the least bit cross with her she could easily break down and it just breaks my friggin heart because after all she has been through she does not deserve it at all and I hate that I am so miserable that I can cause her to suffer as well.
My gosh I do not know what I would do..........honestly....I believe it is for your husband to deal with.....if he truly loves you and wants you to be happy then he must break off all ties to his rotten family...........well let us know how things are going.
Thank you as well for your little passage to me....
Respects,
Horseman

ps..... just so the story timeline makes sense to you all.....I am 48 almost 49 and she is 50.......why someone would treat her badly???I have no idea.she is gorgeous...looks like she is 35 and is a wonderful person who is so giving......this is just a horror story like your story JC. I am very sorry and I hope things change for the better for you.

[jcorsig]

You are so kind, all of you.

@Horseman, No woman deserves to be abused. My husband is a saint. Gods, at the risk of going into my whole life story I spent 5 yeras before my husband being abused. I tried to commit suicide to escape it after suffering a miscarraige. My ex's response-good, you'd be a shitty mother and I don't want any "crotch fruit". He was a true addict, pot and any other party drug he going get his hands on. Trust fund baby. I'm not a bad looking woman and he wold say sh*t like "you're lucky i love your, your'e so (stupid,fat,ugly, weird)". So i get it. I'm ashamed to say but I had breast enlaragement to make him happy because he said he couldn't love a girl who was an a cup, and that it was an embarressment when he first found out I wore padded bras..I know you don't need to know all this, but you were open with me so it's the least I can do to be honest here.

I spent some time volunteering at a shelter afterwards and I learned a lot. His abuse had nothing to do with my short comings, and EVERYTHING to do with his. That's why I probably have so many issues with my white trash in laws because I will NEVER let anyone have control over me again. I mean I did everything for this man, cooked, cleanred did the laundry delivered his food to work, cut his hair, cut his toe nails even. If i got stuck in traffic on the way home from work, i was "cheating". You get it..You're lady went through that and more I'm sure.
After I met and became engaged to my DH, he followed me home and hospitalized me..(that's how I found out i was pregnant w/ my son actually because I needed surgery to repair my wrist he damaged and the preop blood work showed i was pregnant. My MIl when she found out told my DH i would make a bad mother and he shold get a lawyer right away to seize the baby when it was born. She repeatedly told people I wasn't mentally stable enough to be a mother because of my years old suicide attempt..you know, not the 19 year old dating her other son and living in her basement with her first child by another man who was less than a year old who got pregnant on purpose w/ her 2nd child knowing she nor her boyfriend had a job and she was getting wic and foodstamps for the first baby..Shes an 'Amazing. mother according to my MIL.. So that tells you who I'm dealing with. Am I hurt at how they treated me for the past 3 years? Yeah but what's more I'm disgusted with the blatant favoritism between grandchildren. My son deserves to be loved and don't tell me you can't afford to get him a $20 stuffed mouse when you take the other too to disney. (which btw we got told was MY fault they didn't take us becuase I can't behave myself because i refuse to bankroll my BIL&SIL's soulmate lifestyle.) It eats me alive. I once got told to cancel my specialist appointment because SIL was too lazy to take her fiance to work so she could get her own marriage liscense so my husband got told to pick her and her two children up take her to city hall to pick it up then take her food shopping. I asked why she didn't do it her self, and i got told it's so hard with the boys and she cant be expected to like millions of other women in the world. They would blow their cable money on things like xboxes, or puppies then come take our movies(we love to collect movies, before the fire we had several hundred) and owuld return them damaged or not at all, or call and tell us they were going out of town and we had to feed the dog. Yes, I'm very bitter at being sh8t on like that. It makes me mad that i even went there because i swore that I'd never be another's slave.

My husband has to be the one to do it. DYFS showed up at my house today, you'll never guess who called them..whatever. My house while stomtimes messy is NEVER dirty. I just don't live in a tomb like her. You know, in ten years I won't remember if I did the dishes right way or cleaned the sink, i'll remember getting my son a bubble machine and chasing bubbles with him the back yard. I'll remember driving to the petting zoo and feeding the goats, not if I made my bed as soon as I got up.

I'm going to PM you my private email if you'd ever like to talk more. I'm a survivor and so are you both. i'm glad we met.

For the first time today in probably 8 months I was able to go food shopping by myself because the new medicine has my pain managed. I was able to pick everything up all alone and load it into the car. That to me is HUGE. I feel like a million bucks tonight.

Is there a way to post pictures on this board? I'd LOVE to show off my son.

I look forward to talking with you all and making friends. I'm sorry if I said too much personal stuff, but this is cheaper than therapy . seriously though. thanks for just listening. and don't feel bad for me. I'm tough and doing much better.

[Horseman]

Yes I got your info.....hey please, I would love to see your son but do not post pictures of him here. If your in laws or anyone EVER found that out it would not look good, they might try to hurt you with it...I know it is a long shot, but why risk it........ so here ............what I do is send links to where I have pics like photo bucket or snap fish to people of whom I would to see them. Then I can control who sees what and all.
I have two daughters. 1.5 and 4.25yrs old.....I know I am an old f-er for that but my wife was 10 years younger then me and she got the "fever"........then after the kids..... I just wanted to slow down and relax and she wanted to blow the business out the door..........it got too big. I was not happy not being able to have time for myself, the horses and for the kids.....I had to have a few surgeries.......we just went separate ways..........now I have my girlfriend who just likes to chill and relax........yes like you said her 30 years of marriage was a horror story and I hope to make her remaining years a fairy tale.......
I trained her horse and we like to foxhunt and take long rides early in the morning...we live at the base of a mountain range and can ride the valleys or the ridges all on private lands.........I used to not enjoy this as much when I was in so much pain, but I have a new doctor and he is at least merciful to a point, as much as he can be, with the new prescriptions.
I am sorry for your years of abuse........that is disgusting..yes a pathetic excuse for a d1ckless man..........when my x and I had troubles we never got abusive or talked sh1t, we just formerly decided to go into mediation.we worked it out and got it finalized in court....we are actually really good friends now and my girlfriend(I know it is creepy) is kinda friendly with my x wife too.........they travel in the same equine social circles........Dressage Queens they are called. They see each other and talk about the kids and have even carpooled together to go to events in another state with a few other ladies or been together on ladies night out and all.
Besides the pain and the injury and the reduced life expectancy......it is not too bad for me when I think about it...............life is very hard to enjoy no matter what you have if you are in 24/7 pain...........it occupies your thoughts,your attitude, your personality, your relationship, your movements,your sleep,your waking, your eating, talking, hearing, peeing, seeing I mean there is not one facet in life that is not adversely affected by the pain..............
I will email you so you have my email then JC.
Talk to you soon.
Respects,
Horseman

[debbrad]

@jcorsig I'm glad you decided to come out and talk about what's on your mind. Those of us with chronic pain and other problems open our hearts to you. You really need to pm riverstyx about your legal problems cause she would love to help out. You sure do have alot going on.

Your poll brought up interesting things that some of us think about.

I worry about my medication getting stolen at times or someone asking me for some for whatever. My son has chronic pain and doesn't manage his well and will ask me for help when he runs out. It is so hard to say no to him, so sometimes I comply to my own discomfort. I don't know if he would right out take from me, I hope not. When I leave town and stay in a hotel I worry someone in housekeeping might get tempted or if I'm at a family reunion would someone take something that might hurt them. But your Mom needs to be kept out for sure. (I know my son needs to hear no way too.)

I did get a little case I could lock for my family reunion. It's cheap and could be broke into but it might deter some. I ususally can't keep up and have to rest my back and neck too much and will be near them by a bed.

I worry about not being able to do much and people I care about are as understanding as they can. I can't drive or even cook much anymore. My hubby takes care of the things I can't do. He's understanding but yea he wants me to go out more and other things. We do cook together once every Sunday. I still do holiday meals, just modified. My house isn't tip top like it used to be but I'm still here. I can listen and talk with my loved ones and that's great. I wish I could do so much more than my body will let me. I'm glad my kids are grown now that the chronic pain is worse. They are my friends. We don't socialize too much anymore.

Like fire and others have said get as far away from toxic people as possible cause it doesn't help to be at war all the time. You seem to be getting stronger and let your dh take care of keeping the in-laws out.

You got friends here and now you know. We will virtually back you up anytime you need. It's great therapy and much cheaper for sure.

Peace and well less pain,
Deb

[beansontoastman]

I find some people close to be become irritated when dealing with my condition. I find that quite selfish but i try to remain understanding. I also find that some people treat me like a junkie because they hear certain drug names i in the media.

In short, the problem is ignorance. And IME the majority of people are generally very ignorant.

[Jeremy Fisher]

@jcorsig, I think posting about your problems is the right thing to do, as stress does aggravate pain and we want to help. Do not post any pictures here and change your username if it's close to your real name. Seems like some of those stinkers called family like to surf the net.

Venting helps. I know it. I do it. Better to vent to us than to those who would be upset. We are upset for you of course; but as we understand better than most, it does not bother us as much as it would your in-real-life friends.

I am glad your new meds are working. That is so great! Now don't over do. And in regards to your inlaws, I would just go completely passive aggressive. Never answer the phone, keep your house locked w/keys they don't have, and if you are home, don't answer the phone till you know it's not them. Tell your DH you understand that they are his family and you will respect what he needs to do with/for them, but could he please not involve you? You think that withdrawing a bit from this stress will help your pain.

How do you know what they are saying? You should not know this stuff. Stupid words from stupid people should not be repeated, specially to those working to stay positive through pain.

In regards to your son, I know it hurts you so see him ignored but maybe that's a good thing. Remember, your son will take his cues from you; so if you don't act like its a big deal, he won't view it that way either. And really for important holiday's, your dh could buy a little toy and say its from his parents.

Again, avoid these horrible, stink,y rotten, mean, soul-eating people. I would not give them the time of day (or maybe the wrong time). LOL, just trying to lighten up a little bit.

And what's crotch fruit? Anyone? I get the crotch reference of course, just not the fruit part. Don't have to answer if its too embarrassing.

Most Sincerely,

Fire

[Kexessa]

His abuse had nothing to do with my short comings, and EVERYTHING to do with his. That's why I probably have so many issues with my white trash in laws because I will NEVER let anyone have control over me again.

You know, in ten years I won't remember if I did the dishes right way or cleaned the sink, i'll remember getting my son a bubble machine and chasing bubbles with him the back yard. I'll remember driving to the petting zoo and feeding the goats, not if I made my bed as soon as I got up.

JC, I am so happy that you have learned these 2 lessons. Some women (and maybe men) live their whole lives and never come to these realizations. Many years ago I used to volunteer at an abused woman's shelter. Not only were their experiences heartbreaking, it was astonishing after seeking refuge in a secret location, how many of them voluntarily left and went back the their abuser.

Having the strength to realize the problem does not lie in you, it lies in the abuser, letting go and moving and starting a whole new life, usually with absolutely nothing are admiral feats.

I love to hear when someone else has the same "home" philosophy as I do. As my son grew, I didn't care if there were a couple plates in the sink, or a load of laundry in the dryer. I did care that we got in a game of Scrabble or Monopoly, or oh my, Stratego (he's now almost 19 and I still can't beat him at that game!) before bed time, and read endless stories or watched Lion King 3 times in a row, I think I can quote that movie line for line. My SIL is one of those her kids weren't even allowed on the furniture, couldn't ever play in any room but their own room, weren't allowed out of their rooms if there was company, was more interested in entertaining and being "perfect". Needless to say, we are not friends.

For the first time today in probably 8 months I was able to go food shopping by myself because the new medicine has my pain managed. I was able to pick everything up all alone and load it into the car. That to me is HUGE. I feel like a million bucks tonight.

Woot! That is awesome. I am genuinely happy to hear that.

[jcorsig]

I just wanted to pop in and say hi. I"ve been offline dealing with some person things, a death in the family, my health and then surprise-I found out that I was pregnant..with and IUD so I'm on bedrest now that the IUD has been removed until they confirm a safe inplantation and to make sure that the pregnancy is not ectopic(which is a huge risk w/ the IUD). They are going to do an ultrasound tomorrow to see. I'm off all the medications except the oxycodone, and working on a slow taper with that because suddenly stopping will kill the fetus not to mention the hell of withdrawl I'll go through.

I hope to be around more in the next few weeks and I hope to have really good news too. Thanks for being my friend's guys. I miss you.

[Ofcourse]

Sorry to hear jcorsig but congrats on the pregnancy. Wish you the best of luck (long time reader and random poster) and keep us updated.

[Jeremy Fisher]

@jcorsig, WOW, that's a lot of news - a death and a possibly viable pregnancy. Of course you need to take this one step at a time, so try not to worry about the meds too much.

I have often heard that anything we do in the first 6 weeks of pregnancy does not impact the fetus's development as it's living off our uterine lining and not off our blood. Don't know it that's true though. Also there are OBG's out there that specialize in chronic pain patients, meds, and pregnancies.

Please keep up informed. Is your dh or a good friend going w/you to the ultra sound?

[jcorsig]

Dh goes to all apps with me. He really is an amazing father. I'm still trucking along just miserable and bed rest has me crazy.

I'm as sick as adog, I've been To the er twice for dehydration so I'm trying to push fluids. My next step is to have a pic line put in. It's been crazy. My mom's dad and dad's dad passed within 8 days of each other this month.

The baby is fine, im just dealing with hyperemesis-again . But once this baby gets here safely we'll be talking more permanent steps for birth control.

How is everyone else?

[debbrad]

So sorry for your loss. Dealing with horrible morning sickness and greif and cp at the same time is really tough. How far along are you now? I was sick and had to go to the er a couple of times with my first, yet I threw up the whole pregnancy yet she managed to come out at 9lb4oz. I was sick with my second for 7 months and only went to the er once. He was a breeze at 7lb,14oz. It's good your DH is being so supportive and it sounds like you are in a better head space now. That's great to hear too!

Two is a good number. I stopped then too. Having two little ones with cp is enough to handle. You have a great handle on your life. You are so brave!

Some of us are doing ok, and some of us are not. Take some time and read up while you are resting. We all have alot to catch up on. I'm just pouting cause I broke my toe, lost some weight, and have to get an endoscopy for the second time this year. Yuck!

Peace, rest, and good luck,
Deb

[veri]

wow you have so much going on...but i guess life is life. dont try to control it or god forbid somehow try to blame yourself or fix the impossible. when i am overwhelmed i just keep thinking, what will this be like in a day, a week , a month, a year at some point everything changes again, unfortunately not always for the best but a change will come. my love goes out to you...take care