Here is my background first:
My l4/l5 is completely gone at the age of 35. Just dust in my back. SI is also really bad. Was laid off of job before could get a 2 disc replacement approved and I couldn't afford cobra. Pain docs here in Georgia didn't really want to treat my pain and it has gotten worst. I can barely make it some days. Been told by doctor that Advil and muscle relaxers will fix me up. I can't even sit up for 10min the pain gets so bad with saictia and hip /SI joint. I have done everything they ask of me. Chiro, massage, exercise, stretches, Injections, physical therapy etc. I have been doing this on my own but I am scared I can't take the pain much longer. It is becoming sooooo taxing on me. I can't find a BI place to buy from yet and tramadol just doesn't even go near it unfortunately.
I called to make an appt with a hip ortho to get his opinion on what I can do about my hip since it hurts so bad and is only getting worst. I have no insurance yet and this is NOT a pain management doctor. I called the hospital he does surgery out of and they told me they would allow me to get a surgery if I could get a surgeon to do it and no upfronT money. Would give me a 45% discount and put me on payment plan. Hell better than nothing I guess. I am not sure if surgeon will even entertain this option.
I am afraid to go in tomorrow. I am not drug seeking just relief seeking. I dont want him to treat me ugly like some folks have. I have all records to take with me including MRI but I am scared.
Any advice in what to say to him? I was told before by a nurse I come across as desperate but it is I am in So much pain in my groin and hip area 24 hours a day. There have been plenty of times I have gotten in my car and almost just ran it into a tree. Sat there for hours crying as hard as I could.
I only want the doctor to help me whether it is meds or surgery. But I am desperate because I am honestly scared of myself because of the pain. I can't even take care of myself and just cry all the time. I have found that being online helps get my mind off things a bit but never enough you know? Why does there always have to be a handful to ruin it for those that really need it?
Just looking for advice I guess ...been a rough day here in my world. What should I say? How should I approach him? I really need some kind of relief. What will he do if I tell him about the thoughts of hurting myself? I just need some words of wisdom. I don't want to blow money on someone that doesn't care either. I just want help - he could stab a fork in my eye and I would be ok at this point with it 😪