Going to a doc tomorrow....advice please

[UGAgal]

Here is my background first:

My l4/l5 is completely gone at the age of 35. Just dust in my back. SI is also really bad. Was laid off of job before could get a 2 disc replacement approved and I couldn't afford cobra. Pain docs here in Georgia didn't really want to treat my pain and it has gotten worst. I can barely make it some days. Been told by doctor that Advil and muscle relaxers will fix me up. I can't even sit up for 10min the pain gets so bad with saictia and hip /SI joint. I have done everything they ask of me. Chiro, massage, exercise, stretches, Injections, physical therapy etc. I have been doing this on my own but I am scared I can't take the pain much longer. It is becoming sooooo taxing on me. I can't find a BI place to buy from yet and tramadol just doesn't even go near it unfortunately.

I called to make an appt with a hip ortho to get his opinion on what I can do about my hip since it hurts so bad and is only getting worst. I have no insurance yet and this is NOT a pain management doctor. I called the hospital he does surgery out of and they told me they would allow me to get a surgery if I could get a surgeon to do it and no upfronT money. Would give me a 45% discount and put me on payment plan. Hell better than nothing I guess. I am not sure if surgeon will even entertain this option.

I am afraid to go in tomorrow. I am not drug seeking just relief seeking. I dont want him to treat me ugly like some folks have. I have all records to take with me including MRI but I am scared.

Any advice in what to say to him? I was told before by a nurse I come across as desperate but it is I am in So much pain in my groin and hip area 24 hours a day. There have been plenty of times I have gotten in my car and almost just ran it into a tree. Sat there for hours crying as hard as I could.

I only want the doctor to help me whether it is meds or surgery. But I am desperate because I am honestly scared of myself because of the pain. I can't even take care of myself and just cry all the time. I have found that being online helps get my mind off things a bit but never enough you know? Why does there always have to be a handful to ruin it for those that really need it?

Just looking for advice I guess ...been a rough day here in my world. What should I say? How should I approach him? I really need some kind of relief. What will he do if I tell him about the thoughts of hurting myself? I just need some words of wisdom. I don't want to blow money on someone that doesn't care either. I just want help - he could stab a fork in my eye and I would be ok at this point with it 😪

[billyboy1965]

@UGAgal Nice background above. Why don't you print it and read it to him. I'm not joking.

[MojaveJoe]

I agree. Print it up and read it to him - I wish I could prescribe to you cause I certainly would have just from reading it.
Otherwise just follow the basic rules>>>
Be careful about rating your pain. If you say everything is a 10, they'll kind of blow you off. Make sure he knows what hasn't worked, but don't display too much knowledge of pain medication - don't go in and say I need 30mg Roxi TID. Just the usual stuff.

Honestly, though, it sounds like you have plenty of documentation so I don't think there will be a problem with prescribing you pain medication. So, relax as best you can - I'm sure it will work out.

[riverstyx]

@UGAgal: precious, first, most importantly, i shall be praying for u. for wisdom, strength, favor with doctors. that the lord grants u his blessings without sorrow, grants u a pain free, anxiety free night, and i am asking for healing, based on the faith of ur friend. me.

(yeah, yeah, all biblical. the minister in me. and, i have seen miracles. i promise.)

but, baby girl? yesterday my good sister brought me ensure and food. god help me, the 72 yr old man whom trained me in christian shaman or healing/spiritual ways, 20 years ago, fasted for forty days with only water.

yeah, not me. i need electrolytes from gatorade. something solid every few days to avoid feeding tube.

however, in my long, drawn out, scratching the blackboard way of talking, cuz some issues just occured with a friend, few minutes ago, and my good sister and nieces i must attend to, i have not had solid food.

so, before i break fast or breakfast tomorrow, i shall remain in fasting. jesus said some miracles take fasting and prayer.

be prepared. can u bring support? to remember what u cannot?

what u need to know, is that whatever this one says, tis not end of ur world.
i promise u.

there r still good doctors out there. have not had their hearts and compassion removed yet. if this one does not help u, wee one, we shall help u. or god will send someone. i always had liberal doctors. if i could afford one, would hightail it to one now.

yes, we have all cried. thought of suicide. way treated. for me, i was perfectly healthy, obviously well nourished woman 20 yrs ago when i realized that i probably did have ms. after MRI and tests, the next day, his records indicated i was a frail, fragile woman, with myriad of health issues. yada yada.

but, i tested positive for lupus. 19 times now. the ms guy said it is more lupus. the lupus doctor said it is more ms.

this has gone on with me for 20 years.

chronic pain, left untreated, can cuz seizures, strokes, and a host of other conditions. not to mention the suicide thing.

however, don't mention that one. u will get a 72 hr mandatory stay in mental health. u could be drugged. hard to get out. so, shhh.

i could go back to a clinic round here. my disability does not give me medical care. but, i do not want any label that i asked for meds.

so, toptenmeds and, if u r approved, their bigger site. for me.

have no fear. u get copies of what he wrote up. whatever it says, don't let it get to u.

i mean this. i don't want u making any decisions. i have seen xrAys, of my german shepherd, his lungs clearly indicated lung cancer.

i hugged the vet i worked closely with in rescue. i told him, it will be ok. and that doggie lived with no treatment, 13 more years.

doctors r not smart. my sister is one.

u get ur courage on. u go in calm. get all results. and, then, we may need second opinion. or fourth.

whatever happens, u think of crazy little blonde attorney minister, me. u remember i said, it's not over now baby blue.

and, that, we shall find a way for u.

u got that? and always PM me if u need me. we can go to email. whatever. if u hurt, if u cry, and u have no one else, i am the world's mom. i shall be here for u. i promise.

i pray the lord grant u pain free, anxiety free night. that u grant her favor with doctors. that u give them wisdom.

and, our little UGA gal will be as ok as we all can.

if u give up tonite, know i am here. praying for u. and, i am tough in negotiations with god.

momma love hugs (((HUGS))) AND all my healing vibes ur way.

please, hang in there for me. promise?

i promise u, i shall do my best to help. deal?

[IBleedCrimson]

I can't imagine a legitimate doctor reading what you just posted on not providing you the care that you deserve. That possibility seems impossible. Good luck and God Bless.

[BrianHorn]

Here's what I do:
1) Be honest about your pain and sincere desire for pain control (no such thing as eliminating it).
2) Like other's said, either print up your comments, or at least bring a list of concerns, things that help and what exacerbates the condition, and meds that you've tried that works and what doesn't (be careful not to give too much info here - don't act stupid and insult their intelligence, but don't be too knowledgeable asking for heavy-duty stuff).
3) Mention what else you do to help - like yoga, stretch, heat, etc. I believe this shows that you're sincere about taking care of pain, and not just taking pills all day sitting on the couch.
4) Most importantly, be ready to see a few doctors before settling on one. It took me a while to find a good doc who is okay with prescribing some heavy meds and slowly building a good rapport with them. Maybe even call their office and ask a nurse or office staff about the doc's attitude towards pain control. Some docs think it's all in your head and that Advil is all one needs (no joke - I've seen these guys!). But some docs know pain is a devastating, chronic condition that ruins lives (and can even end lives) and that pain meds, while very serious with their own consequences, when used reasonably, can provide life-saving results.

I suggest these things because it's precisely what I've done with good success. But whatever you do, do something. There's just too much that life has to offer to just lay around in sever pain suffering. I tried to muscle-through the pain thinking I could habituate to it, but I couldn't. When death started sounding like a fantastic solution, I realized I had to do something. And even though taking pain meds aren't the ideal solution, their side effects happen to be a better alternative than pain or death.

Best of luck to you, and I sincerely hope you find a good solution!
BH

[UGAgal]

Thank you all for the advice. I am going to copy what I wrote and put is in a word doc and take with me to show him

The docs I have seen in the past over this year have wanted to do "non-prescribing" methods to deal with my pain. Nothing has worked and I have followed them to a T. I am a personal trainer by trade so not like I do not know how to be healthy. Anytime I ask just get my pain UNDER CONTROl it seems like they just laugh and say no we don't give pills sorry your sol. But nothing is wokring. It is 3:30 am and I am laying here in bed in tears from hip hurting so bad today.

Thank you for allowing me to gripe. I really appreciate it. I do hope he can see how bad this pain is ruining my life. I can't even function to take care of myself let alone the rest of my house. I will keep everyone posted for sure on the appt. I have to be there at 12:30. I pray hard he listens to me.

Ps. Would you suggest having hubby write a letter to about how bad this is effecting every part of my life?

[cajunbulldog]

Bring him with you and keep a pain journal so he can see how pain is ruining your quality of life.

[billyboy1965]

Thank you all for the advice. I am going to copy what I wrote and put is in a word doc and take with me to show him



Ps. Would you suggest having hubby write a letter to about how bad this is effecting every part of my life?

I'm glad you took the advice to print your concerns and take them to the doctor. I believe that will demonstrate your intelligence and "desperation" (although I'm not sure that's really the right word) for legitimate treatment.

I don't know what I would do about your husband writing a letter. I think if you wanted your husband's output you should take him with you so the doctor can see his face and the concern and dedication and the tone of his voice. IF you wanted to take his input.

Maybe play it by ear.

When I went to see my shrink for the first time, I had written a summary of my life, life influencing factors, current and past mental issues that are troubling.

When she wrote the summary diagnosis...it started out something like "Mr. Billyboy is an extremely organized individual with superior intelligence."

LOL...smart lady. LOL.

good luck.

[Jeremy Fisher]

I am not sure what time your appt is, so will add this fast. Most docs think a pain level of 2 - 3 is acceptable and if you give them too high a number they think you are exaggeration for meds. I would go w/a 6 as an average w/some spikes, if that is realistic to your situation.

Remember, it is the pain you want to get rid off or manage if possible, meds are only one tool that is how the doc sees it.

Best of luck.

[billyboy1965]

@Fireplaces and @UGAgal ~ if the doctor does ask to rate, I'd ask the doctor what his definition of a 2, 5, and 8 and take it from there. They all have their own and I think when you do that...you don't have a rehearsed answer. And your answer might be different than you thought.

[Visa Accepted]

Keep us updated buddy!
I'm anxious to see what he has to say in regards to you giving him your post.
Let us know.

[chris100]

You have to be honest with the doctor. They are not stupid people. They can read if someone is not telling the truth. Just explain what is happening to you and tell him the meds you have tried already. Tell him if it hurts more at night, or in the morning. I think if you just be yourself, things will work out for you. If they dont, than go see another doctor. Just be yourself and dont try to be someone your not. All the best!!!! See you my friend..

[UGAgal]

Hubby can't go with me due to a very important work meeting that he heads up. I leave in 2 hours to see doc. I will not be bringIng anything with me from hubby because that would scream crazy lol.

I am definetley just going to be honest and take it from there. The pain is just so bad today. Ugh! Will post when I get home.

[UGAgal]

Went to the doc and was truthful. He said that I definetly need surgery but best to get MRI of hip first because could be that it might not be as bad as I think and will just need my back operated on. I asked him what to do about my quality of life and how bad it is. He told me we can talk AFTER MRI. Said to take Advil and rotate tynenol with ice and heat.

I give up. Going to take chances with online. At least I don't have to sit in doctor office for almist 3 hours. At home in bed now on a heating back. Going to try a nap. Ugh I hate being in pain.

[no name]

Went to the doc and was truthful. He said that I definetly need surgery but best to get MRI of hip first because could be that it might not be as bad as I think and will just need my back operated on. I asked him what to do about my quality of life and how bad it is. He told me we can talk AFTER MRI. Said to take Advil and rotate tynenol with ice and heat.

I give up. Going to take chances with online. At least I don't have to sit in doctor office for almist 3 hours. At home in bed now on a heating back. Going to try a nap. Ugh I hate being in pain.

@UGAgal,
was this an orthopedic surgeon that you saw?
I would call the office and let them know you are miserable, you will have the MRI done but could they refer you to someone to manage your pain?
surgeons like to operate and manage pain post surgery
I'm sorry for where your Dr has left you
I would be persistent but polite
you deserve some relief
NN

[UGAgal]

Yes he was a surgeon. I am going to call my pcp tomorrow. I am miserable and in so much pain. Makes the days so long when your at this point you know? I am just down and out right now.

Thanks for listening to my Whinney butt today.

[riverstyx]

ok. so u handle the pain on ur own till u get ur consult after MRI. it is so pathetic. untreated pain leads to seizures, strokes, depression, suicide, inability to eat, hopelessness.

like we have any choice in seeking the meds that can keep us alive. i can assure u, the doctors i knew in personal life sure took care of their own pain STAT.

i guess they think we r faking the intensity of pain. or have a stash. uh, no.

listen, they r doctors. very few left practicing really give a darn. i pray ur MRI will help bring u the relief and respect u deserve.

in meantime, u know ur options. whilst u wait.

we r so forced into online. i have a son, whom wants grandparents someday, and so i shall fight to hold on.

same meds i had prescriptions for. (and, of course still do.) i am sorry, but, if u don't mind, gvt, please let me do the simple, low schedule stuff that keeps me alive.

try to get thru tonite. and, try some suggestions. u can get thru this. u can get help.

so sorry for ur pain and sadness. try the backups. and may god bless u with a pain free/anxiety free night, precious.

hold on. oh, its never whining between friends, k?

[BrianHorn]

The results you got were awful, but it sounds like you had basically a specialist/surgical consult. I'm not surprised they didn't prescribe anything. You have to go to PCP or a pain specialist to get meds prescribed basically because you will have to go back monthly for a new script. Surgeons only work with you pre/post-op.

You may also want to consider finding a chiropractor who is also an MD (they must have the MD part to be able to prescribe meds) because they seem to very patient-centric, have concern for musculo-skeletal issues, and ALWAYS want patients to come back often and forever. But without the MD part, you'll just get cracked and billed, but no meds.

Best of luck!
BH

[Jeremy Fisher]

hold on. oh, its never whining between friends, k?

I certainly is NOT. Describing the results of today, being reduced to request pain meds AND being rejected, could not stink worse. An so to cast out that sad, humiliating, disappointing experience, we must share it. As so you did. I would not call that whiney. I would and do, call it smart.

Sincerely,

FIre