I think it's time for me to leave this world

[betsky]

@M77
Awwww, shucks, your makin me blush like a schoolgirl.
Same advice right back at you.

[brienzi]

The subs work well for folks who use em as prescribed..like any other pill..

Good luck @indy girl

[betsky]

@brienzi

your in luck, I'm still shooting live "helpful" rounds.
hope you are well big DOG.

[brienzi]

Haha..I am very well @betsky , hope ur well also..

[windowpane]

Hi @Indy Girl ! When I saw the name of this thread. It looked like one I could
have started. I'm in the same boat but I have no plan. I'm depressed beyond
recognition. The end of last yr. and the beginning of this yr. I had quit for
2 months but relapsed. I never felt well the whole 2 months and had enough.
I know it takes longer then that. I've read it can be up to 2 yrs. before you
feel 'normal' again. I'm tapering down again and see what happens. But I
feel sick and have zero energy every day. It wears you down. Anyways I
know how you feel. Good luck to you! Better days are ahead for both of us.

[Indy Girl]

@betsky and @minneman , I met with my doc yesterday to figure out my "taper schedule". He is going to keep me on Suboxone (8-2 sub-lingual) for 15 more days. Then we will SLOWLY start to taper off of the Suboxone. I feel really good about my situation right now.

In addition to tapering me off my Suboxone, I told him I would like to come off my other meds as well (tapering off of those too) I also currently take, seroquil, neurontin, and cymbalta, I actually feel like its going to work this time. I know it is going to be hard and it will take some time, but I am headed down a scary(ier) road if I don’t get this under control soon.

I think a lot of it has to do with the fact that over the past few years, I have acted as my own doctor and pharmacist…..something that I am CLEARLY not trained to do I am taking everything EXACTLY as prescribed

*This post was auto-merged. The following text was added 15 minutes after the last post:*

Forgot to tag these guys in my post.... @dfitz , @Perromaldido , @Xzentric

[junk1]

i hope things are going well for you , its a hard thing to do no ifs ands or buts 99% of the people you know in daily life are no help heck you cant even have a conversation with them because you have nothing in common with them but this place is good for finding helpful people you have something in common with at least we have that hang in there and throw an update out there when you get a chance

[giddyUp]

good job indy! like you said, everything has to come one day at a time! just hang in there and everything will work itself out in time. that's the problem with anxiety and depression is that we feel like there is no time! just remember that things will get better. hold on!

[parogers]

Hello Ladies and Gents,
Reading this thread has been very helpful and perhaps reaffirming for me in a number of ways. I'm not strung out on anything - except maybe drink too much on occasion - but I have been emotionally drained increasingly over the last long while. Of course it has to do with relationships, employment, finances, etc, all of the usual suspects. I have never seriously - in the last few years - considered anything permanent, but damn have I been sad and depressed. I have friends in the neighboring state who love me and want me to move back there to be near them. But I can barely afford to stay where I am (unemployed and looking furiously) much less move. But I digress....
All of the support and reassurance that things will improve given to @Indy Girl have given me hope that - as the saying goes - it's always darkest before the dawn. I won't go into the relationship part as that could be a novel in itself, but I have been job interviewing and hoping for a break of any sort. I am an IT pro with over 16 years experience and am willing to dig ditches at the moment for minimum wage to pay the billls. I have a drawer full of DHC, vals, ativans, some soma and a few trams and SO much want to take a valium. But with my luck, as soon as I did I would be offered a job and a drug test in the same breath. So instead I took 1 tramadol, a soma and have had a few beers tonight to try to kill the panicky, sad and depressed feeling that I have regarding this whole f-uped situation.
But I again digress.
I just wanted to thank the participants of this thread for the support you have given @Indy Girl , and by the same token, given me some hope that things are not really as bad as they seem. Thank you all. I really appreciate this forum. And @Indy Girl , I hope you continue to do well and see the sunshine. Bless you all!

[poocheroo]

@parogers I don't think we have ever chatted before and I just stumbled on your post. I posted in this thread awhile ago so I was surprised to see it pop back up. I am glad you found some inspiration here. People on PR are so willing to help anyone in need and all you have to do is ask. Vent as much as you want, start a new thread or even PM someone if it makes you feel better. I truly believe that job is right around the corner for you and the fact that you are not taking certain meds leads me to think you believe that too! Sending positive thoughts your way!

[parogers]

thank you for the positive thoughts. I have been burning up messenger with my "best friend" in the neighboring state for months. We have known each other since 1981. She still loves me and that has been a lifesaver over the last year and a half. (Visited last weekend as I was going stir crazy!)
Thank you for responding. I guess I just wanted to "talk".

I have read your threads over time, along with many others. I am usually very quite and don't respond a lot as there are many people on here who are more knowledgeable than I when it comes to certain things. I just listen and take in what is being said.
Again, thanks.

[poocheroo]

@parogers in spite of my dumb threads and silly posts, LOL, I actually do care a lot so if you ever need or want to feel free to PM me. All the problems you listed, I have had or am having so I can certainly sympathize. Glad you have that friend. Long term friends are pretty special and rare

[chell55]

I know there are many people who are suffering now. I feel your pain. I struggle with sadness and lonliness as well. Far away from family and people who you can count on for support.
Things will get better. Each day is new and we never know when things will change and you will find yourself feeling happy again. Until then we are here to help and support you the best way we can.
You really are cared about by the members here. Many members have experienced some of the same things so they can relate to what you are going through.
I'm praying that things will turn around for you.

[parogers]

Thank you. I know we are all here for our own reasons, but we are here for each other as well. Going to go hang out with some friends later at the moose lodge, have a few beverages and a bite to eat. (Even though it is close to 100 degrees around here!)

[chell55]

I think you will find that you have helped yourself. Joining friends instead of staying home alone is a good start. Hope you have a great night.

[teresita]

How are you @Indy Girl ? I havent seen an update on your taper or progress so I was concerned. I never posted in this thread because everyone else posted my thoughts first but saw today and was hoping you have some good news to report.

[MattM]

I know its been a while since your first post. I truly hope you're starting to see a light at the end of the tunnel. We can compare stories but everyone has their unique experiences and you really cant compare pain. What is mild pain for some people is incapacating for others. Ive had migraines for years but last year, they turned into almost daily, excruciating headaches (8-9 of 10). My wife was at the end of her rope, I was a 34 year old male and had to tell my boss several times a week that I couldnt come in had to leave early (Dilaludid and driving/work dont mix). Telling people at work was the hardest part - its not like a broken arm - you cant see a headache. But thankfully people understood and Im doing great now with just BoTox. But bottom line, tell people - even people you never think would understand can be very compassionate and if you're having a goood day - make the best of it and enjoy it with your loved ones. Seeing you go through this is almost as hard on them. All the best.

[ben_zo]

my god my work mates had no care for me and actively used to take the piss after i told a few of them i had bad depression, my employers even less they sacked my after 2 reasonably long periods of sick leave, when i look back now it all seems like a bad dream that i thought would never end, but it did, i am not 100% but much better than i was.
just hang in there and get well soon.

[Indy Girl]

Hello everyone! I haven't been on here in a VERY long time. I found that this board was not healthy for me for the state of mind I was in. Now that I am better, 122 DAYS SOBER, I can safely come back here to read other people's stories and to offer help and support where I see fit.

These last few months haven't been easy, but it's amazing what my life is like now! It's amazing! Thank you for all the kind words, and for thinking of me This is such a great forum and it really helped me when I needed it most.

I hope to be able to contribute to this board again now that I am healthy

-Indy

[Allycat]

122 days sober that is awesome @Indy Girl !!!

I can feel the excitement in your post, as they say miracles do happen!

"life is amazing" that is so great to hear.

Keep up the good work.