My husband is 53 and has a neuropathy and autoimmune disease.I am so deppressed,we are too young.Advice?

[queenshopper50]

He had blood work,Mri,EMG,and will be getting a Spinal Tap in 2 weeks.He also has Diabetes.He is using a cane because he has drop foot and falls all the time.I have heard you can have a couple of autoimmune diseases at a time.The doctor thinks its not ALS or MS.I dont know any suggestions?Plus there is no sex.I feel like just a caregiver not his wife.which then makes me feel guilty!! I would appreciate anyone who lives with someone with this to let me know what to expect.Thanks.

[formerly_bob]

Drop foot and neuropathy are common in diabetics. Sometimes neuropathy, loss of sex drive, loss of engery, and problems similar to drop foot sometimes occur from reduced testosterone, which is also a complication of diabetes. Find out if the blood test examined his testosterone.

For the emotional side of things, you and your husband need to talk about the issues you raise here and work out a solution together. Your relationship will not ever be the way it used to be if your husband's condition does not improve. So, you have to think how you and your husband can adapt to make the best of things as they are. Think of things you and your husband like to do together, and things you would like to do together and then start doing them. You may also need to have some time away from your husband - like a girl's night out - to get a break from the care giving.

[ladypam]

I totally agree with you, formerly_bob. Couldn't have said it better. This is something that you have to talk to your husband about. It is truly emotionally taxing as well as physically to have someone you care about be seriously sick. It is at this time that being a wife to him means understanding him more and being more patient and attentive to his needs, without expecting anything from him, which is quite different from a caregiver who just does it for pay. He definitely needs you at this point of your lives. And you can probably more creative in terms of sex, if you are both open to it.

Hope everything turns out okay.