Moms Voice Releases Oxytocin

[johnnylarue35]

Everyone, call your mom, if she's still around. You'll feel better

A MOM'S VOICE IS POWERFUL MEDICINE

Next time you feel anxious and tense, like a knot of nerves, instead of scheduling a massage or some time in the sun, you might want to call your mom.

A mother's voice has the power to settle jangled nerves and maybe even reach through the fog of a coma to bring a brain-injured patient back to consciousness, according to a pair of new experiments.

In a study published Wednesday, researchers from the University of Wisconsin — Madison, asked 61 girls and their moms to take part in an experiment to determine whether a voice could be as comforting as physical hugs and kisses. The girls, ages 7 to 12, were instructed to give a talk and then solve some math problems in front of a panel of judges — a situation, the researchers figured, that would make any kid’s heart pound and blood pressure rise.

Before the girls gave their performances, the researchers measured the levels of two important and powerful hormones: oxytocin and cortisol. Cortisol is a hormone that spikes during times of stress. Oxytocin is the bonding, or so-called “love,” hormone.

“It’s generally been assumed that there has to be physical contact for oxytocin to released,” said study co-author Seth Pollak, a professor of psychology at the University of Wisconsin. “We were curious what would happen if the contact was only by phone.”

When the girls finished their presentations, they were sent to one of three rooms. In one, moms were waiting with hugs and kisses and warm reassurances of the girls’ success. “The moms came in and hugged the girls and stroked their hair,” Pollak said. “They’d reassure their daughters with words like ‘I’m sure you did fine. You always perform so well.’”

In another room, girls received phone calls from their mothers with verbal reassurances similar to those heard by the first group. A third group of girls didn’t meet up with their moms but were sent to watch the heart-warming movie “March of the Penguins.”

When the researchers later measured hormone levels, they found, not not surprisingly, oxytocin rose and cortisol fell in girls who had been in physical contact with their mothers. What was surprising was that the behavior of the hormones was almost identical in girls who had only spoken to their mothers on the phone.

Sweeter than a penguin movie
The girls who watched the movie saw no increase in oxytocin, while cortisol levels continued to be elevated an hour after the stressful performance.

“Oxytocin seems to put a cap on how high stress hormones can go,” Pollak says. “What tickled me about this study was that it goes against all the literature suggesting that you need to have physical contact for oxytocin levels to rise. But all that research was based on rodents.”

The study results may not apply to every mother-child pair. Pollak allows that when relationships are more complicated and there is tension involved, mom’s voice might not be so soothing.

“The reason we chose pre-pubertal children is that, for the most part, they still really do like to be comforted by their parents. As kids get older the relationship can get more complicated and strained.”

Pollak says he’d like to explore the effects of a mom’s voice in those complicated relationships in future research.

Penetrating the fog of a coma
In another experiment, which is ongoing at Northwestern University in Chicago, researchers are testing whether a mother’s voice can pierce through a coma.

There, voices of family and friends are recorded and then played back to the brain-injured patients through headphones several times a day.

One of those patients, Ryan Schroeder, a 21-year-old college student, was in a coma after being flung from snowmobile into a tree. He started to respond to external stimuli after three weeks of hearing his mother’s voice played for him over and over.

Until the study is finished, it won’t be clear whether the awakening is due to his mom’s voice or just a coincidence. But a year later, Schroeder is walking with assistance, texting friends and brushing his own teeth.

Lead researcher Theresa Pape, an assistant professor of medicine at Northwestern University, suspects repeated exposure to the voices of loved ones could help regenerate the brain’s neural networks. MRI scans of coma patients reveal that parts of the brain light up when they hear family members, but not for unfamiliar voices.

The new research shows how potent the sound of a familiar voice can be, says Helen Fisher, an anthropologist with Rutgers University in New Jersey and author of “Why Him? Why Her?”.

“It shows why it’s important to have people in our lives that we can call, who will calm us and get our cortisol levels down,” Fisher said.

Ultimately, the study confirms something we instinctively knew all along, Fisher says: “When we call someone we love, we feel better.”

As for whether love and comfort comes through a text message? That’s another study.

[lucid_elizabeth]

As a mother of a 5 month old I can tell you it works both ways. Sometimes on my worst days the thing that makes me feel the best is just holding her, smelling her, looking into her eyes, all that stuff. But a lot of it has to do with the fact that when she was brand new I could tell she digged me all right, and definitely needed me...but now?! It's like I'm Super Mommy. She LOVES me! Best relationship ever! Not to downplay my husband.

[LostInSpace]

I am a parent of a pre-pubertal daughter. There are times that the hormones are so out of control there is no way to calm her down except to give her, her own space to settle down.

Once she is composed, she craves hugs and attention. We have a close relationship and I hope she can always talk to me in the confidential way she does. I am blessed that she trust me that she can come to me so I can comfort her.

Anyway, there is No Doubt this study is True!!

Parents, take heed.......

_______________________________________

I am the 99%

[naughtysmurf]

I'm a mom who has suffered severe postpartum depression and even though my daughter is 6 now i still struggle most days with the concept of motherhood and being responsible for someone's whole entire life.I struggle mostly to not let my selfishness take over and be that comfort for her.i hope i'm the one she's gonna call.

[johnnylarue35]

I'm a mom who has suffered severe postpartum depression and even though my daughter is 6 now i still struggle most days with the concept of motherhood and being responsible for someone's whole entire life.I struggle mostly to not let my selfishness take over and be that comfort for her.i hope i'm the one she's gonna call.

You sound like a great mom to me!!!

All parents have their moments of doubt for sure.

I would be more frightened for your daughter if you thought you were perfect

[naughtysmurf]

thanks,that made me feel good.

[riverstyx]

@naughtysmurf : i am sorry. i really have not studied this, though. but, i am guessing that certain chemicals in ur brain which led to this depression, kinda overwhelmed ur system, and u missed out on the bonding whilst baby in utero and, then, whilst holding her first time, etc.

and, u r the one whom stays home and cares for her?

were u busy in a career when ur baby came along? r u young?

this one, although being studied now, somewhat, is difficult for some of us to understand.

i am glad u brought this up, as i suspect many moms have suffered with this and not received help.

being irish and much older, the old pick urself up by bootstraps upbringing, we were never allowed depression, or illness, or to even admit that perhaps the mom was not the best parent to be "stuck" home with the infant.

maybe, as i was the youngest and my mother did not want another, which translated to "did not want me," that the reason she just flipped out and drank until oblivion daily, never touched me in love, gave me to my father, was that she suffered from postpartum depression. hmm.

do they treat u with anything that helps u?

i must say, though, the fact that this form of depression so bothers u, and u know it is a struggle with her needs v. ur needs, perceived as selfishness, means u really try so hard on this.

especially saying, i hope she would call me.

i tell u what, i believe ur baby would call u. absolutely. kids r amazing. i saw very young, that my mother was not exactly able to show love, feel it really, and, so, from about age 3 on, i told her daily, tons of times, that i loved her. gave her all sorts of cards i made. i began showing me mum unconditional love to show her how to feel it.

in my case, she was about 71 when she said "i missed u" to me. those words mean the world to me.

i hope u r able to get some treatment. but, u r not alone. at all. i bet some women r kinda mean about this. or don't believe it. but, i do.

and, i see how hard u try. can it help at all to know that u r not alone in her upbringing and care? i believe fully in a higher power that loves her more than u do. that said higher power will step in to handle what u cannot at this time.

please, let us know if the idiots whom r doctors r treating u with a med that helps.

and, the way u said i hope she would call me, rather signifies to me, u r halfway, if not more, "there."

i have posted before that some people r not meant to be sole caregivers for kids or parents. that i wished more would speak up, get help if needed, but be allowed to say no, i should not be home with a child 24/7.

hoping u have some help. that u get some free time just for u. that doctors take this seriously. but, ur daughter? yeah, i believe she would call u.

I'm a mom who has suffered severe postpartum depression and even though my daughter is 6 now i still struggle most days with the concept of motherhood and being responsible for someone's whole entire life.I struggle mostly to not let my selfishness take over and be that comfort for her.i hope i'm the one she's gonna call.

[naughtysmurf]

Wow! that was beautiful @riverstyx . I was 30 when i had her,had a job but not a career,i was just so set in my ways and very selfish.I had thoughts like 'what the hell have i done?' and i hated feeling that way,so unmaternal.But i did all i had to do for her and the bond is now unbreakable.Nobody told me how hard it would be.But it's better now that she's a little bigger plus she's my biggest fan so that feels good.Let's hope it stays that way...and i think she will call.

[Fanbased]

Being a parent is a very tough, stressfull and rewarding job. It is very scary sometimes for me because I worry too much I think. I worry whether or not I'm doing it right. But I tell you this, when I hear my baby girl laugh and see her smile, the universe flips. It's on par with winning some great prize.

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@naughtysmurf , my wife experienced exactly what you described when our daughter was born. That, plus recovering from c-section had her in bed for what seemed like forever. It was tough for her and still is because of the guilt she feels.

[riverstyx]

oh, wonderful. and, so cool u did not hate me. i don't always know how i come off when i speak.
peanut, i was 37. i was never gonna have a baby cuz i was afraid, what if i am abusive? not sexually, but, what if i yell, or what if i hit? i learned to love from animals. i guess. ok, or god.
but, i got me a glorious surprise. i was fortunate that my hubby really wanted me to stay home. that law meant nothing. my doctor sister was so angry with me. but, the whole thing is choice. we must do what feels right.
and, not have others, and, often, other women, judging us.
i had my best girl friend stop talking to me cuz i did not marry out of college. i had law school. but, the women with children club really left me out.

we get no manuals. but, in reading ur post, the newer one, oh, precious, u r just being hard on urself. judging urself the way mean women might. doubting urself. for no reason.
she is ur biggest fan? that says it all.

my doctor told me that all women, even if but once, in their heart, will feel an "i hate u" about the baby. for a nano second. especially older women. so independent. and, that we would hate ourselves forever.

it is not just hormones. it is this little thing, is now queen of the castle. u r allowed no plans. u must revolve around her as to the sun. no one really tells u all that. and, in all reality, it is all up to u. u r the one whom makes all life and death decisions. all moral ones. academia. ur morning begins with her needs. ends with same.

ok, i would so be thumbs downed, but, once, for that second, when i was so tired, and hubby, never helped, but, he worked, and so tired, i thought, i am beginning to hate this mother thing. i did. i confess.

from then on, when i heard my wee one cry, at night, i popped a popem donut, for instant sugar energy, so i would never approach my boy with anything less than happy happy love. and the "i am at ur service, wee one, and honored to be so."

but, yeah, we all been there. biggest fan? oh, of course u were awesome and still are.
i think, it is other women make us feel badly.
especially when we r older. i just feel it. like the ones whom had kids when younger were smarter than us. better than us.
it may all be in my head, but i felt it.

even my good sister sent me a four page, heart felt, welcome to being a woman letter upon birth of my son.

and, sometimes bout 13 they get fussy. find u embarrassing. so normal. my good sis has 3. she always encouraged them to speak freely.

(i, not so much with my guy. when i had made a decision, it was "yes, m'am," i expected.)

so my sister has 3, but the girls tell her she was awful. it is her fault they were not in this school. or that play. u know silly stuff. don't ever fall for it. never fault urself for ur parenting.

from what i hear, by the time they have kids of their own, they realize, that one, they have become u, and, two, that u were perfect.
ok, i am quiet now.

[naughtysmurf]

um, i think i love you @riverstyx lol! my god,you just describe it so perfectly.The "what if i'm horrible at this" check! Outcast from the people closest to me,like pressing the ignore button on a person, check! the "i hate this being a mom thing(even if only a second" check! Husband does'nt help cause he works all the time,check! your story is my story but like i said before yes she is my biggest fan! Definetly a mama's girl and that's rare so i'm doing something right for sure.Thank you for your words,i was heading for a crappy day today but your post made feel so much better.xoxo

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oh and i forgot to mention feeling totally crappy standing next to "supermommy" who just loves every second of it and wants 4 kids? she's totally lying right?

[riverstyx]

so glad. my less than stellar parenting moments have helped u feel better!

oh, had to respond to yes in re: supermoms.
i also saw them in superwives: i felt that they stood there, waiting, for, say a button to fall off, so that she could quickly fix same as perfect woman. darning. and, i know women whom can food. canning food. sew the halloween costumes. make the cupcakes for school, and each one is sheer perfection. yeah, i bought mine.
i am so missing the gene that makes one the perfect mother. in the normal sense.

i prayed against twins, as both hubby and i had mild family history of same. how does one do that, with absolute fairness and equality? it is mind-boggling to me.

and, yes, seems to me, the woman whom wants more children, all the time, is working so against the odds. if u have two parents, anything over two kids leads to anarchy. mutiny. unless u raise them like that learning channel family, with about 190 kids and counting. ok, hyperbole. 19 and counting. why? tell me why? can u really give ur best to so many children? i mean, god bless. it takes a special parent.
and, i am so glad i am not that kinda special parent. nope, that gene is MIA.

but, raising my son is one of my greatest achievements.
and, as roseanne barr would say, "listen, if u get home, and the kid is alive, then, i have done my job." (i mean june cleaver in stockings and heels, and happy dusting, loving cleaning, and just so fulfilled all the frigadelic time. is that possible? yes, they lie to us. they must. )

[naughtysmurf]

a woman after my own heart sigh...quoting the great Roseanne? i thought i loved you before now it's for sure honey!

[monkey gone to heaven]

I miss my Mom very much. She passed away in 2007. @jonny Laurue35 you are so right. Talking to my mother always made me feel better. She was one person who loves you no matter what. She stuck with me when I was down and praised the most at my accomplishments. She had her problems and in the end dealt very well with them. I hope I can do as well. Thanks. Tonight I will go to bed with the great memories and maybe it won't matter if the Ambien work well.

Best Regards,

monkey gone to heaven

[riverstyx]

@monkey gone to heaven : that is a beautiful post that u have made.

based just on ur words, i can see ur mom was wonderful to u. ur love and gratitude for her just shines.

may u have a blessed and peaceful sleep, treasuring the most loving moments that u share.

i believe that ur mother is very proud of u, now. may u feel her perfect love once again, as u rest tonight.

[lucid_elizabeth]

@naughtysmurf From what my shrink said to me...generally if you are worried about whether you are being a good parent, then you are being a good parent. People who are bad parents don't even stop to consider whether they are being selfish or not. Remembering that has helped me through a few rough days.

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@riverstyx ...I can things from the garden, but it was like 8 cans total...but doing stuff like that calms me down...I baked my way through my pregnancy...I love doing laundry...but I am a very committed feminist. I do those things because I enjoy them, not because they are my "job". Take lucid_nicole for example...not to disparage her homemaking skills...but...yeah. But she works at a job I can't even begin to understand all of the way and she is great at it, all the while being an awesome parent to my niece and doing all the parent stuff that goes along with a very active school age kid. I couldn't do that. So every Mom has to find her own "mommy zen" and stick with what makes you happy, because that is what makes your kids happy, a happy family.

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And also to @LostInSpace and all the other parents of teen girls...I am so terrified of what it is going to be like when my baby hits those years. As soon as puberty hit I went completely insane. I mean my family life wasn't the best as @lucid_nicole can attest, but beyond even that I was out of control. I am hoping the fact that my daughter has two involved parents with "progressive" discipline ideas and that I "should" be good at keeping an eye out for certain symptoms of impending disaster...it could still end up a nightmare.

[lucid_nicole]

Take lucid_nicole for example...not to disparage her homemaking skills...but...yeah.

But she works at a job I can't even begin to understand all of the way and she is great at it, all the while being an awesome parent to my niece and doing all the parent stuff that goes along with a very active school age kid.

Thanks.

Yeah it's hard to keep the place tidy when we both work full-time, I'm in constant pain, and DD has her activities. Not to mention that I have to do it all by myself due to DH's work schedule/general laziness.

BTW I'm having surgery to help fix this on 11/18, just don't tell dad because he'll freak out. He'll find out soon enough at Thanksgiving.

[holepuncher]

I hope to be as caring a mother to my child when I have one as the ladies who've chimed in here stating their insecurities as a mother. I agree with the comment that if you're worried about if you're a bad parent, then you're a good parent because bad parents just dont care.

I want so badly to be a mother but the main reasons I haven't yet is that I just don't feel financially secure and want to ensure that my child has the best possible chance I can provide to guide them into the world. I know that sounds like i'm bound to have a bratty kid who gets everything they want, but after growing up in an extremely poor family and knowing how upset my parents must have been feeling like they weren't providing for us would kill me. I want to devote my love to a child without having those stresses. I know I can't have a completely stress free life, but its' the one thing i'm most conscious of when the thought of needing to have a baby happen.

I just know how much it gets me down knowing I can barely afford to put food on the table for myself while I pay 2 mortgages and with a house for sale that just won't sell, how can I be sure i won't take my money worries out on a child who needs so much (clothes, food, nappies just to name a few) and I worry that my stress will come across as though I don't love my child.

[lucid_elizabeth]

Thanks.

Yeah it's hard to keep the place tidy when we both work full-time, I'm in constant pain, and DD has her activities. Not to mention that I have to do it all by myself due to DH's work schedule/general laziness.

BTW I'm having surgery to help fix this on 11/18, just don't tell dad because he'll freak out. He'll find out soon enough at Thanksgiving.

If you don't want to say on here, you can PM me (through fb or email since I haven't gotten PM status on PR yet)...but is this surgery for the PF or something else? And is there any amount of physical threatening I can do to ensure your DH helps out at the very least during your recovery? Should I come down there? (I mean to help, not beat up your husband....but I can do both) If so I would likely need to start pumping now (milk, not iron) sigh. But I will do it if I need to. Because I LOVES yous.

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Thanks.

Yeah it's hard to keep the place tidy when we both work full-time, I'm in constant pain, and DD has her activities. Not to mention that I have to do it all by myself due to DH's work schedule/general laziness.

BTW I'm having surgery to help fix this on 11/18, just don't tell dad because he'll freak out. He'll find out soon enough at Thanksgiving.

And BTW from what I've seen lately the house (yours) is looking rad besides. I think part of the issue last time was you guys had two places worth of furniture crammed into one place of living. Less clutter, easier to manage everything. Not something we learned from our mother...but as many issues as I have with her...I still like the sound of her voice. When she isn't half buzzed, talking too loud about something inappropriate. But I LOVE her. & Don't worry, I don't tell Dad much. Does/Can Mom know?

[lucid_nicole]

If you don't want to say on here, you can PM me (through fb or email since I haven't gotten PM status on PR yet)...but is this surgery for the PF or something else? And is there any amount of physical threatening I can do to ensure your DH helps out at the very least during your recovery? Should I come down there? (I mean to help, not beat up your husband....but I can do both) If so I would likely need to start pumping now (milk, not iron) sigh. But I will do it if I need to. Because I LOVES yous.

Aww, I love you too!!!

And BTW from what I've seen lately the house (yours) is looking rad besides.

Thanks! We've been working hard on it to get it back into a normal state. Yes, we were combining 2 households. It's probably visitor friendly at this point, although I have a couple more photos to hang.

Does/Can Mom know?

It's for the PF, and I'd rather not tell her since it's right before thanksgiving. I might even postpone it which is mainly why I didn't want to tell anyone. I don't want to ride in a car (or a plane) with an air cast and crutches.