When Online Dating Goes Wrong, Victims Of Scams Feel Doubly Traumatized

[Joe willie]

Online dating scammers groom their victims by developing 'hyper-personal' relationships which can leave victims feeling doubly traumatised.
The research, part of a larger study supported by the Serious Organised Crime Agency (SOCA), focused on fraud where criminals set up fake identities using stolen photographs (often of models or army officers) and pretend to develop a romantic relationship with their victim. This is often done using online dating sites and social networking sites. At some point during the relationship they pretend to be in urgent need of money and ask for help. Many victims have been persuaded to part with large sums of money before their suspicions are aroused.

To find out what techniques scammers use 15 victims were interviewed (11 women; four men). Professor Whitty asked them about their relationship history; what psychological state they were in before the scam; the full description of the scam; why they believe they were persuaded to part with money (if they did); details of what happened after the scam (e.g. how police dealt with it); how they were psychologically affected by the scam; and what their current state is.

The results showed that basic marketing techniques were used to groom victims, increasing the feelings of a genuine relationship and leaving victims susceptible to fraud.Professor Whitty said: "Our data suggests that the numbers of British victims of this relatively new crime is much higher than reported incidents show. It also confirms law enforcement suspicions that this is an underreported crime, and thus more serious than first thought.

"This is a concern not solely because people are losing large sums of money to these criminals, but also because of the psychological impact experienced by victims of this crime. It is our view that the trauma caused by this scam is worse than any other, because of the 'double hit' experienced by the victims - loss of money and loss of 'romantic relationship."

Elsewhere in the study Dr Tom Buchanan (University of Westminster) looked at the psychological characteristics of victims. Over 1000 participants answered an online questionaire. The reponses showed that people with strong romantic beliefs, who idealised romantic partners were most likely to fall prey to online scammers.

Anybody ever try Online Dating???

[UGAgal]

I did ....until I got replies....scared the crap out of me so I closed it down immediately. That was a couple months ago....nooooooooo thank you. I will just enjoy being single and enjoying my kiddies.

[Nickel]

I was on OKCupid for a while. The second day after I uploaded my profile I was propositioned by someone claiming to be a 22 year old woman looking for a sugar daddy to pay her rent once a month in exchange for sex. Wow was her rent high. I did date a lawyer for a while though her interests were a little outre' for little ol me. Got a few other odd hits until the one friend I made on the site told me my profile was kinda suggestive. What? I answered. Apparently I said "I like to play". To me that meant hanging out casually, without a big plan, having fun. Apparently to some people this had a whole 'nother implication. When I got a query about nipple clamps, clothes line length and cock rings, I deleted my profile. I guess I will never know if "the one" was out there... Heh. And I'm a man. Can't imagine the queries the ladies get, esp. if they have nice looking pics.

[Swizzlestick]

I tried a couple.

Met some nice women (too nice for me).

Met some women that were way too "clingy" right off the bat.

Met some women who had psycho ex husbands.

Was approached by many women who clearly did not read my profile (ie. what type of woman I was hoping to meet).

In the end I decided that online dating was significantly harder than regular old fashion dating.

Like @UGAgal , I decided on staying single and working on my "being a good dad" skills.

[brienzi]

yeah..like i'm gonna do match dot com..ahhah
Don't they do a backround check or somethin...
I've got a few to many arrests, hha..not a felon, just arrests for shit...

[Swizzlestick]

yeah..like i'm gonna do match dot com..ahhah
Don't they do a backround check or somethin...
I've got a few to many arrests, hha..not a felon, just arrests for shit...

I did Match.com and ...

Well, I got a withheld judgement on my felony and have a couple/few arrests as well. No violence, but drug possession, DUI, a "boating infraction" (not kidding, water skiing without a spotter in boat - on my permanent record).

No one I met on Match ever mentioned it. But again, there was nothing I needed to hide.

In the end, save your money.

[dmiccy]

I know this is an old thread but just wanted to add my 2 cents...

My experience is not necessarily 'online dating' but I met my partner online via an innocent enough chat/social networking site. That was 4 years ago, we are now happily living together and enjoying each day with each other.

My partner is 20 years older than me, and from a different cultural/religious background than I am.. 'on paper' we probably would never have met, in the conventional way. He lived 500 miles away from where I lived. The odds were stacked against us, but I truly believe that if not for talking for months online, and really getting to know each other before meeting, we would never be where we are today.

There is hope, just be canny and have your wits about you. When I first flew in to meet him I had two return flights booked, one scheduled 4 hours after arrival, and the other booked for 3 days later... a safety net... Needless to say I did not use the first flight