Would it be advisable to take a muscle relaxant before sex

[smudge]

Me and my boyfriend have tried to have sex twice (I'm a virgin - he's not) and both times his penis won't go in. Both times we've been properly lubricated & I've been really wet. He's even tried fingering me beforehand. It seems as though I'm just really tight. If the problem is that I need to relax more, which is most likely the issue, then should I consider taking a muscle relaxant before we start, or is that not a good idea?
I appreciate the answers. Yes, the first time we had hours of foreplay, both oral and manual. I feel extremely comfortable with him, so I don't know how much of this would be psychological hesitancy; perhaps we should try to get me to orgasm before we start intercourse?

[oopiedoopiegirl]

Maybe not such a good idea unless he thinks you slobbering on him is attractive. Perhaps you should use a toy that bigger than his fingers but smaller than his penis to get you going a bit before you guys have sex. Might work out better than drugging yourself.

[dizzy]

Heck no! You WILL fall asleep within 15 minutes of taking a muscle relaxer. So not a good idea. Hm. Have you guys tried different angles? Sometimes doggy is a more easy way to ease on in there. If not, sounds like you need to practice on loosening yourself up. Buy some dildos/vibrators in different sizes and start with the smallest one first and work your way up. You'll get there eventually. Good luck!

[susan p]

It's not just about lubrication, your vagina also needs to go through other changes to allow penetration such as being relaxed, open and increase in size. You say he's even tried fingering as if it was a last resort, during sex fingering, oral, femoral, touching, kissing and similar should all be going on before sex anyway as a means to prepare your body for intercourse - ideally you want to be aiming to orgasm prior to penetration. Sex is also not just about penis penetrating vagina, if it's not working then there is no rush and no need to force it, enjoy sex without penetration and let it all come naturally.

If you are tensing up then you need to be asking yourself why you are tense - if you are ready for sex, if there is shared trust and respect, it's all well and good saying that you are ready for sex and feeling ready for sex, but obviously if you are not relaxing then there is something emotionally that you need to address. Consider what you are suggesting here, you cannot relax when trying to have sex with your boyfriend, so you are thinking about using muscle relaxant to force penetration to work...that's simply not healthy. Short of a serious medical problem the issue of being too 'tight' is mental above anything else, that is what you need to address rather than seeking a way to make yourself have sex. If there is a medical problem then this needs medical attention, not muscle relaxants.

If your muscles are relaxed how exactly are you going to have sex? For one it's not exactly too great if you just lay there, you need to be part of sex and active within sex, secondly if your vaginal muscles are relaxed then they will not be responsive during sex so it is not enjoyable for him or for you as you won't be able to feel anything. Sex when forced is not enjoyable for you either, it would be much healthier and more enjoyable to have sex without penetraiton until a point where you can comfortably have penetration with your partner without having to force it.

[Marisa H]

yeah i dont think that would be smart. try lots of foreplay. he should be doing what you said and more every time, try just messing around for ages, get really comfortable with one another and dont put too much pressure on it, it will happen just give it time and keep trying.

[luv]

I would have to say no. when my husband and first tried it was painful so we grind a lot which eventually made it easy to go in.but I hope you are ready and please use a condom.

[Pamela C]

Try having him do oral on your beforehand. It both lubes things up and can make you more relaxed [especially if he makes you come].

If you're of age you could have a couple of glasses of wine or something...but I highly recommend just having him make you relaxed without substances!