Yea, not sure what to do.
School is picking up steam again and it's getting rough.
I did the whole benzo thing in mid January -> early February 2012, and that was the last time I took one ( can't remember specific dates ).
I stopped taking them due to various reasons and because I came down with a very bad flu for a couple of weeks. I also thought I was going through benzo withdrawal at some point during that... ( I made a thread on this occurrence )
Anxiety and stress levels are rising again, and everyday I'm super tense and anxious to the point were I constantly feel miserable , nauseous and dizzy .
My question(s) is;
1. Is it ok if I start taking benzo's again (very sparingly) only on the days were I feel like I'm going to lose it ?
I'm scared that if I take it even just once ( even a low amount like 0.5mg ) it might impact me somehow negatively (mentally, chemically alter something in my brain again ).
I've been suffering from PTSD and depression / anxiety for the past 5 years and have been on and off various types of anti-depressants and mood-stabilizers and also stimulants for my ADHD. Currently I don't take any medication and haven't had for a good month (last time was early - mid January, which was Lithium, discontinued it because side effects outweighed the positives) Anyways, it feels like I'm done with heavy medication and all I would consider taking is a benzo in the rare blue moon as long as I'm in school.
I realized that once I'm finished from school I'll be a happy and mental healthy person but as long as I'm still in school it's like jail to me, seriously.
So yea, I'm scared / cautious that taking a benzo might do something negative to my mood / me , whether short or long term. (I'm not familiar with benzo chemistry and it's impact on the human psyche ).