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Thread: Dad with Dementia- Both of us with the crud- And kitty passes over that rainbow bridge

  1. #1

    Default Dad with Dementia- Both of us with the crud- And kitty passes over that rainbow bridge

    Holy moly....what's going on out there. Is the government seeding the clouds with viruses, and bacterial infections. We actually had a school close locally, just so they could disinfect it. My Father and I were both down for the count, and we're basically shut-ins. My Sister in laws BD, was on the second, and they were leaving for Florida, the next day. We normally have our shindigs here, but I asked my other brother, if we could do it at his place, because I wasn't going to be able to pull off, making everything look descent. I didn't know his neighbors, would stop by, and we think they were the culprits.

    It took a couple of days to set in, but neither one of us had any balance. I was crawling to the bathroom, the first day. The non stop coughing, was helped by some wise pre-preparation, with an IOP. It made quite the difference, and I was so glad, that I was prepared. Definitely, took the edge off, and I didn't have to worry, that I was going to bust a gut. My Father had four falls. Two, thank God, on the couch. I leave notes for my brother everyday, who is still able to do the morning shift for now, and warned him, that you might find Daddy on the ground. There he was. He said it had just happened in the bathroom. Then another day, I had to give him, what I call a half shower, because there was just too much poop to clean. Sorry for the graphics. After I got him out, he was holding on with two hands, on the safety rails, and I turned for one second to get the walker, and in he fell. Just sitting there, with his feet hanging over the tub. Once we go him out, he went to bed. I kept telling my local brother, that we had to get him checked out, to make sure nothing was broken, or that the infection was really invading his brain. When he came back over later, my Father couldn't get out of bed, but he was soaked. I kept pleading with my brother to take him, but he said he would in the morning. Amongst many other things, he was also a Fire Commissioner for 25 years, so he has called the guys in the past, to come over, and give their opinion, without all the drama, of the sirens. I was able to change my Father, by using scissors, to cut off his diapers. I got warm, and clean sweats on, and was able to put on the clean protective cover, and remove the wet one. There was a lot of rolling him, back and forth, by myself. He was holding on to his bed rails, like he was falling from the Titanic. His back was to me, and I heard him whisper, don't leave me. Lay down with me. Now.......you do not hear stuff like this in staunch strong Irish Catholic Family's. Never. It bought tears to my eyes, as I laid at the edge of the bed, holding his foot. I thought, this is it. He's leaving me. My mind starts wandering, my brother and his wife, are going to have to come back from Florida, one of my aunts and uncle are also down there for a couple of months. My aunt who's a Nun, is in Ohio, but can't travel alone. Are my nephews and nieces in the middle of exams, can my cousin, the professional singer, leave her five children. It just kept racing and racing. Well, my brother did take him the next morning, by himself. They did a complete workup, and nothing was broken. Of course he's back to driving me nuts, with the constant asking for food. Yelling at me for trying to shave him with this product, where it is impossible to get cut. Telling me, he will exercise, and then last about three minutes. Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh...........woe is me. I'm yet again, begging my brother to bring him back to his regular workout place, so he's in a safe environment, and gets to socialize. The Prom King needs to be around people. And hopefully more exercise, would help with the RLS

    In the midst of all this, I start noticing that my regular cat, is acting lethargic, and not eating her wet food, which she lived for. She wasn't really moving too much, and she liked to drink out of coffee cups, so I brought her water, and held the cup for her. I told my niece and her husband, because they're the ones I inherited her from. They got her checked out, and she was in kidney failure. There wasn't much that could be done, so the three of us, sat crying on the phone together. They sent me some video's, and they let me talk to her, before she crossed over the Kitty Rainbow Bridge. So sad, I had so many milestones with this cat, after her living in one room, in Philly, for a while. She started here in one room, hissing and scratching me. Then she graduated to two rooms, and then the entire upstairs. Within a week she walked by me when I was on the computer, and gave me a rub. She then graduated to the downstairs, and then to the great outdoors, to watch the birds, and squirrels. The kitten/cat, that my neighbor injured, is still staying with me. So late one night, Midnight, and Hoodrat cat, went out in the neighborhood. I never saw Midnight go so far. She was less fearful, at night. I actually had to look for her. I like to think of it, as her last make a wish trip, before she left us. So I still have Hoodrat cat, and his aunt who likes to run in, have a bite to eat, and then sleep in her secret hide away. She growls at her nephew. The poor cat, just wants someone to play with.

    So here I sit, once again, telling stories of my life, to PR friends, and strangers. Oh, and my EBV, is definitely kicking in with the cold sores. I noticed one on my Father also. They're so attractive. I love all these massive co-infections I carry in my body. But I'm going to be beating the crap out of all of them soon. Do or die.

    Hope all is well with everyone. I wish you joy, and healing, no matter what journey you're on.

    Peace

    VEDA

  2.  
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    Dad with Dementia- Both of us with the crud- And kitty passes over that rainbow bridge
  3. @VEDA, so sorry to hear you are going through so much. I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers.
    Like snowy, VEDA, rainey51 liked this post

  4. i'm in a similar situation, @VEDA, cause i live with grandchildren who have brought home every nasty virus this winter. i'm so sorry about your pet and dad.
    Like snowy, VEDA, rainey51 liked this post

  5. #4
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    @VEDA, I'm so sorry to hear about your dad and kitty. You are an amazingly strong woman.
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  6. #5
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    snowy has a reputation beyond reputesnowy has a reputation beyond reputesnowy has a reputation beyond reputesnowy has a reputation beyond reputesnowy has a reputation beyond reputesnowy has a reputation beyond reputesnowy has a reputation beyond reputesnowy has a reputation beyond reputesnowy has a reputation beyond reputesnowy has a reputation beyond reputesnowy has a reputation beyond reputesnowy has a reputation beyond reputesnowy has a reputation beyond reputesnowy has a reputation beyond reputesnowy has a reputation beyond reputesnowy has a reputation beyond reputesnowy has a reputation beyond reputesnowy has a reputation beyond reputesnowy has a reputation beyond reputesnowy has a reputation beyond repute
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    @VEDA, Good or bad, I always like reading your posts. You throw a little humor in them too which makes me
    I hope you don't think of us as strangers.
    Losing a pet is always hard, you have my sympathy for your kitty.
    I hope the "Prom King" gets better too.
    I agree with wintermute, you are a very strong lady.
    Like wintermute, VEDA, djrick, rainey51 liked this post

  7. #6
    So sorry @VEDA for kitty cat. I hope you and father feel better today. Peace & love.
    Like VEDA, rainey51 liked this post
    F**k the DEA

  8. #7
    Thanks @Reeseru, [MENTION=46130 notcharlotte, @wintermute, @snowy, @jakemoe. I appreciate, your sweet comments. Yes, @snowy, I think of a lot of people here as friends. It's a very supportive forum, and I've never shared, like I do here. It's cathartic. @notcharlotte. Ain't it the truth, that the kids pick up everything, and just keep passing it around. One of of my nephews and niece, were daycare babies. Every single time they came to visit, I got sick. I just couldn't resist holding them, as I love babies, children, and animals. As I always say, we all have "stuff". Hope everyone is happy and doing well.

    Peace
    Last edited by VEDA; 1 Week Ago at 12:24 AM.

  9. #8
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    Oh my poor VEDA. I am so sorry for all the things you went through, how awful. I'm sending you hugs.
    Like Kessa, VEDA, snowy, rainey51, djrick liked this post
    "It's difficult to believe in yourself because the idea of self is an artificial construction. You are, in fact, part of the glorious oneness of the universe. Everything beautiful in the world is within you" -Russell Brand

  10. #9
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    @VEDA- I am so sorry, my thoughts are with you. I know what you're are going through. The bathtub thing happened to to me too. I lost dad in September, there is not a day that goes by that I do not cry about losing him. There were so many times I thought he would would be better off. he may be but I am not. Thinking about ya girl and your dad n kittie!
    Like VEDA, rainey51 liked this post
    [I]We look forward to the time when the Power of Love will replace the Love of Power. Then will our world know the blessings of peace.-William Ewart Gladstone[/I]

  11. #10
    Thanks @Blue Flowers and @Kessa. I do remember you telling us about your Father. We're lucky, that we've had them, this long. I hope you have other family members, that you can heal with. I'm dreading the day, he crosses over. I'm not quite ready for that. I wish you peace, and @Blue Flowers, I also know of your Dad's story. I know you feel robbed. Thanks for your hugs. Right back atcha.

    Peace
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  12. #11
    @VEDA I'm so sorry. Everything seems to be hitting you at once. My love to you.
    Like Kessa, VEDA, snowy, rainey51 liked this post

  13. #12
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    @VEDA-I think we have all felt robbed to a point, we may have never known a family member at all, lost one through them losing their memories and abililty to function then finally death. It may be a relief, or you may , like myself, feel a sudden loss of usefullness, depression and get angry at ourselves if we feel we did not do a good enough Job. To watch the man who has been so strong all your life, and my dad was strong, a truck driver but he always managed to find a job close to his family, Its all hard. To watch them become feeble and frightened.

    Bottom line, I guess I am saying we cannot compare pain, of course, losing a child is unthinkable, yet I know people who have and still manage to put one foot in front of the other.

    There are so many unique and compassionate people on this board who always seem willing to listen or offer support. it is a really great place to come to to give and recieve support. No matter the problem.

    When dad was here it consumed my time. My life. Please look around in your community and see what support there is. Home health? Meals on wheels? I am thinking of joining one of these programs so I won't feel so useless.
    My husband is very independant and extemely supportive. If it's good for me then he is there all the way.

    If you need to, let us know more about your situation and we can offer ideas for you to get help, it sounds like you have your brother and that is a great start. but you need more. So just let us know and we will put our minds together.
    Like snowy, rainey51, VEDA liked this post
    [I]We look forward to the time when the Power of Love will replace the Love of Power. Then will our world know the blessings of peace.-William Ewart Gladstone[/I]

  14. #13
    @Kessa. Thank you for your reply. Believe me, we have looked in to everything, that might benefit, both him, and myself. I personally believe, that he was at his best, when he went back to his regular gym, three times a week. After he broke his leg, Medicare paid for this, for a while. We know the owner of the gym, and she told one of my brothers, that it would be OK for him to come in with my Father, and go through the same routine, the PT was doing. She told him, if he ran into any problems, she would come over and help. He didn't follow through, and I'm now having him check into whether or not, we could pay someone, that doesn't charge $240.00, a session. My sister in law, did a lot of research last year, about our senior center in town. She spoke to a woman, for a long time. They have two sections. One for dementia patients, and one for seniors. I had thought about trying this part time, maybe three times a week. But some of the activities they have, would not really suit him. I can't imagine him doing crafts. He really just loves talking to people, and if these people have severe dementia, they may not have the gift of gab. The best part is, they have someone pick him up, and drop him off. Bringing someone in the house, I believe would be useless. He needs to be with people more.

    I have him do some workouts, in the house, but sometimes only lasts three minutes. He did nearly fifteen minutes on the peddles yesterday, but I must bribe him with food.

    If I could drive, then our world would open up. But that won't be happening. We're still working on things, and I'm doing the best I can, considering, my own situation. Soon we'll be able to get in the yard again, and I have him walk around the driveway/neighborhood, for some exercise, and vitamin D. Thanks again.

    Peace

    My best friend lost her daughter, in a senseless accident five years ago, and I'm still helping her through that. It was devastating, but like you said, she puts one foot in front of the other, everyday.
    Like rainey51, Kessa, wintermute liked this post

  15. #14
    @VEDA - I'm one of the strangers here and I just read through your post - and for what little it might do, I thank you for sharing your story and I send you my 'support vibes' through the web. Life throws some pretty awful stuff at people, with some getting more than their fair share. Take care.
    Like snowy, VEDA, rainey51 liked this post

  16. #15
    Thanks @equinox. That was very kind of you. Things could be much worse, and I'm well aware of that.

    Peace
    Like rainey51 liked this post

  17. #16
    @VEDA - I'm sorry to read about what you are going through Sometimes sadly enough "stuff" seems to hit us all at once and it's hard to imagine anything getting better but hopefully it will.

    I woke up really early thinking about my 15 yr old dog that passed away a few years ago, it hurts my head and heart still. My dad lives far away from me and is getting so forgetful and I can't even be near him to help him, it's hard. You sound like a very strong and caring person

    I don't know if this will help "healthwise" but I take something called Moducare it helps regulate my immune system, (I have Hashimoto's), and I can really feel a difference if I don't take it for a couple of days. I know when I'm under a lot of stress like I have been for awhile now health issues flare up.........

    Big hugs to you and I so wish I had a magic wand to make the world better and more understandable.
    Like Gullible, VEDA, Danie, djrick, Gramma, wintermute liked this post

  18. #17
    Oh my, sweet @VEDA, I am so sorry to hear all that you are going through! I must agree though, our PR friends here are a blessing to lean on. That's what we're here for (maybe strangers, but virtual friends). I must concur with
    @snowy - albeit all that you are going through, your posts are always delivered with such thoughtfulness.

    You are in my thoughts and prayers and we're closin' ranks around you @VEDA
    Like VEDA, rainey51 liked this post

  19. #18
    @rainey51. Thank you for your very kind post. I'm so sorry about your dog. I remember someone saying that they didn't understand why people got so upset over losing a pet, until they had one of their own. Fifteen years, is a long time. I hope you have some joyful memories. I remember my high school boyfriends dog, died at age fifteen. He had him, most of his life. It's funny what our brains choose to remember, but I remember that day very well, and also how devastated he was. Sorry again, for your loss.

    It's hard on people, who don't live near their parents, because you just feel helpless. My sister in law always gets ticked off at my brother, for not visiting my Father more. Honestly, I just think he can't handle it. He does volunteer work, and cooks breakfast, for the homeless twice every week, yet he doesn't make a concerted effort, to visit his Father. Granted, he or my sister in law, drop off food, or take him out to dinner, sometimes. My sister in law is amazing, and should be sainted someday. She's my rock.

    My next brother, lives 2 1/2 hours away, with a white knuckle drive. So basically, its me and my local brother in the trenches daily.

    Does your father live alone? Does he have any outside help. That must be very hard on you.

    I'll have to look up Moducare. I am going to start some new alternative stuff, that I've been putting off. And the thing that helps me the most, is rebounding, and diet. Hashimoto's, I think that's the thyroid. Am I right? I'll have to look that up also.

    Thank you again, and big hugs to you also. I say this all the time, but I endure, because I know, things could be so much worse.
    @Gramma. Thank you also, for your thoughtful post. Yes it's nice to have a place to vent. I certainly appreciate the prayers, and can always use them. Most of my posts, are just stream of consciousness. Sometimes, I feel like I'm just rambling. I often think, oh there she goes again! Rambling VEDA.

    Hugs and thanks to you also @Gramma.

    Peace
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  20. #19
    Sorry wrong post

  21. #20
    Quote Originally Posted by VEDA View Post
    @rainey51. Thank you for your very kind post. I'm so sorry about your dog. I remember someone saying that they didn't understand why people got so upset over losing a pet, until they had one of their own. Fifteen years, is a long time. I hope you have some joyful memories. I remember my high school boyfriends dog, died at age fifteen. He had him, most of his life. It's funny what our brains choose to remember, but I remember that day very well, and also how devastated he was. Sorry again, for your loss.

    It's hard on people, who don't live near their parents, because you just feel helpless. My sister in law always gets ticked off at my brother, for not visiting my Father more. Honestly, I just think he can't handle it. He does volunteer work, and cooks breakfast, for the homeless twice every week, yet he doesn't make a concerted effort, to visit his Father. Granted, he or my sister in law, drop off food, or take him out to dinner, sometimes. My sister in law is amazing, and should be sainted someday. She's my rock.

    My next brother, lives 2 1/2 hours away, with a white knuckle drive. So basically, its me and my local brother in the trenches daily.

    Does your father live alone? Does he have any outside help. That must be very hard on you.

    I'll have to look up Moducare. I am going to start some new alternative stuff, that I've been putting off. And the thing that helps me the most, is rebounding, and diet. Hashimoto's, I think that's the thyroid. Am I right? I'll have to look that up also.

    Thank you again, and big hugs to you also. I say this all the time, but I endure, because I know, things could be so much worse.
    @Gramma. Thank you also, for your thoughtful post. Yes it's nice to have a place to vent. I certainly appreciate the prayers, and can always use them. Most of my posts, are just stream of consciousness. Sometimes, I feel like I'm just rambling. I often think, oh there she goes again! Rambling VEDA.

    Hugs and thanks to you also @Gramma.

    Peace
    Hi VEDA - My dad has my aunt that is in a reasonable driving distance and some friends in his retirement community so he's okay, thank goodness. I still wish I could see him and help him but I just can't except for calling him and making sure he's alright and not mentally alone. I'm glad you have your sister in law, she sounds great.

    Yup, an attack of the thyroid, sounds like a strange movie, ha, ha! I hope you are having a great day.....day by day is what I'm trying to do to keep myself as positive as I can; it's hard but I don't see many other choices.

  22. Dad with Dementia- Both of us with the crud- And kitty passes over that rainbow bridge
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